Episode 226: The Breed (2006)

Do you remember 2006’s The Breed? No? That’s okay, no one else does either. We’re uncovering a nothing of a movie to discuss, and it’s no wonder this thing has been lost to time. In 96 minutes of runtime, there’s only about 12 worth seeing. With that being said, our episode is jam packed, so strap in as we tear into this barely-a-movie flick, plus discuss the recent sequel (we couldn’t believe it either), the goofy as hell RC-3 Seabee, Pat Sajak’s greatest impression, Michelle Rodriguez as a Firestarter, DoesTheCatDie.com, and so much more.

The Breed (2006) stars Michelle Rodriguez, Oliver Hudson, Taryn Manning, Eric Lively, and Hill Harper. Directed by Nicholas Mastandrea.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:27

I'm Nathan Simmons, and I'm just here for the zip line. God damn it. And I'm not mad. I'm John.

SPEAKER_03 0:34

And I'm not sure to Hollywood, and I wouldn't be caught dead dying. And this is the rabid lightings playlist, a podcast that tries to find the silver lining in some of Cinema's most feral endings.

SPEAKER_02 0:46

Oh is summer over yet? This feels like a summertime pick, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:55

Lots of uh skinny dip in.

SPEAKER_02 0:56

It's margarita 30, you know. It's hot as all fuck outside. It sure is. Before we go too far into the episode, I want to show the guys my summertime look that I'm debuting. Oh, it's loading. What's up, motherfuckers? Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 1:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:12

Just the stash. Hang on. No, yeah, that the stash isn't what's catching me. What's the shirt you got on?

SPEAKER_03 1:18

It's the slutty shirt you got on.

SPEAKER_02 1:20

Oh, it's uh it's daddy's little monster I'm wearing. You have gone full like flash dance. Like you have like one, like the neckline's massive, it's off the shoulder. Yeah. He's a maniac. There's only one thing I can say to that look, and that is I don't know. I I rewatched after we did First Blood, I rewatched over the top, and I was like, we gotta bring back the boat neck, baby. So how many times have you watched the birdcage this week? Oh man, I'm due. God, Nathan, you look like such a slut. I gotta say. I really hate it. Because here's the thing. I just had to sweep my hair out of my eyes because I look like business casual Hitler right now. I wasn't gonna meet you.

SPEAKER_03 2:03

I wasn't gonna say it, but I'm glad someone did.

SPEAKER_02 2:05

Yeah, uh I don't think the mustache is lasting past today. This was just for you boys.

SPEAKER_03 2:10

Okay. Boy, I hope this is someone's first episode. I really do.

SPEAKER_02 2:14

Wait, is now a good time to tell Nathan this is our first uh video episode as well? Yeah, it is. I forgot to mention. I'm taking a picture for posterity.

SPEAKER_03 2:22

Thank you. Uh, but yeah, if this is your first episode, or if you're rejoining us, we are the Sever Linings playlist, a podcast that tries to find the Severed Lining and some of Cinema's bleakest ending.

SPEAKER_02 2:31

And today we're talking about No, we're not talking about shit except for Nathan's fucking collarbone.

SPEAKER_03 2:35

You're right, yeah. For the next hour, it's just about the wardrobe.

SPEAKER_02 2:38

God damn. Killer Clav.

SPEAKER_03 2:42

Uh, we're talking about a movie I had never even heard of really until Mally put on the schedule. Now I know why after having seen it, we're talking about 2006's The Breed. The breed 2001 film of the same name that stars Bo King Woodbine and Bai Ling, which I feel like would have been a much better conversation.

SPEAKER_02 3:02

Debatable. And truly for half a second thought maybe he misspelled the brood and we were gonna get into some Cronenberg. It did occur to me like this morning. I was like, fuck, did I remember to specify that it was the 2006 one? Uh-huh. You did. You did, thank God. This is this season's Jill Rips. Yeah? Yeah, I think so. You're you're welcome. And then I was moderately entertained, but also multiple times said out loud, this is not a movie. It's not a movie.

SPEAKER_03 3:31

Dude, I text you because I think I was I was the first one to watch it. I was like 18 minutes in and nothing has happened. Yeah. Then oh, a puppy showed up. Oh, cool. Now we got a movie.

SPEAKER_02 3:41

There's the movie right there, little furry movie.

SPEAKER_03 3:44

Oh man. Okay, so Mallie, I know I ask this all the time whenever we do movies that you pick, and you always seem confused by the question, but was there any particular reason why you chose the breed, or was it just like fuck it, throw it on there?

SPEAKER_02 3:55

So my Instagram algorithm is fucked. Because of this fucking show, it's all twilight memes and people ranking the worst movies of all time. Sure. This one showed up a lot. Wow. So I gave it a go. And in the opening scene, I was like, oh, the whole movie's ADR. This is going on the fucking list. Oh my god. Yeah. It looks like a sci-fi pictures original. Oh, the same thing. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Sci-fi's better than this.

SPEAKER_03 4:27

You're probably right.

SPEAKER_02 4:28

This was at the time when we were slapping Wes Craven's name on any piece of dog shit that came out. Oh, my first note is Wes Craven, you are so much better than this. Yeah. So this guy was uh Wes Craven's AD, right? He was his first AD on like New Nightmares, Screams 1 through 4. He also did Walk the Line, 310 Nayuma, and past episode Blow. Okay. And this was his directorial debut and his only director credit, as far as I could tell. Yeah, no, that makes sense. Do you think people because it's so surprising to me that this is showing up on a lot of lists just because I I can't imagine the cultural footprint that this movie has, except for the fact that it came out last year? Yeah. Starring uh What's Her Name from Shazam? Oh yeah, Grace, what's her name? And then uh uh Curry, is that her name? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Virginia Gardner's in that too, right? Oh, I love Virginia Gardner. Me too. I have not seen the sequel, I will own up to that. I would say it doesn't have a cultural footprint because it has a cultural paw print. Shut up. Nope, nope, nope. I'm out of here. So here's the thing about this movie. I oftentimes will anytime there's like a Reddit thread or I come across some posts that's like, what's the most upsetting movie endings of all time? I always scour through them to see if maybe there's something that I don't know about. Yeah, a little something in there for us.

SPEAKER_03 5:52

Uh-huh that's something I could like throw on the list too of like, oh, maybe we could consider this one. And this one came up a couple of times over the past couple of months before Mally put it on the schedule.

SPEAKER_02 6:01

And I'm confused now, having seen the movie. We got the same algorithm, brother. It's just kind of a nonsensical jump scare. Like this movie doesn't really have an ending. No, I would say it doesn't have a plot either. No, that too. It does have a Chekhov's merry-go-round, but other than that, it does not follow the structure of a screenplay. That's true.

SPEAKER_03 6:22

And this movie just looks like dog shit, dude. It looks so bad.

SPEAKER_02 6:27

No, it's so funny whenever I'm watching a movie for the show, and Ashley will like gaze over and be like, Man, the white balance on this is fucking crazy. It's awful. It's awful. This seems like like it's a bunch of college kids trying to make a movie, like uh trying to make like a Thanksgiving or something like that. Like it looks and feels exactly like a movie like that. It's the kind of movie where characters out on a boat will point and go, look, land. Yeah. And that that's dialogue. Well, it's also one of those movies where every character has a very specific skill that's helpful in this very specific situation. Yes. Uh huh. It's like, oh, right, we need to establish that she's athletic. Have her climb the side of the house for fun. Right. And not for nothing. Michelle Rodriguez doing most of that, right? Like that was kind of impressive. It's such a bizarre movie because, like, you remember how like back in like the the early days of films and like the 40s and 50s, like we just didn't do certain ADR or foley work. So, like, if people got into a fight in like a classic movie, it's like dead silent, other than like clothes wrestling. Sure. Like, there's no vocalizations or anything. It's this movie feels like that. Like, there's characters.

SPEAKER_03 7:37

Michelle Rodriguez gets an arrow through the leg and is like walking around just fine for the rest of the movie.

SPEAKER_02 7:45

And just kind of goes, that scene. I saw that clip and I was like, I need to watch this movie immediately. That scene is awesome. I was ready to give up on this movie, and that made me cry laughing. Yep. I think I texted you guys this earlier, but that scene is the reason this movie's on the schedule. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 8:04

When it when it does bullet time for a man shooting an arrow seven years after the Matrix came out.

SPEAKER_02 8:11

Oh my god. The like the fucking bullet time wraparound on him.

SPEAKER_03 8:15

Yeah, it's still funny because it does that hero moment and then he just shoots Bert in the leg.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

It looks cool. Well, no, the best part is that he shoots her in the leg and he then still gets the hero shot afterwards of like the slow-mo lowering the bow. I did it. He looks like he did it on purpose.

SPEAKER_03 8:35

He was like, Don't worry, I know how to fix this problem. Let me shoot Michelle Rodriguez in the leg.

SPEAKER_02 8:39

Let me shoot another arrow to use to pry the arrow out. Oh no, there's two in there. Put around the meat. Around the meat. Yeah, right. It'd be like if Blade like threw his glaive and it cut his own head off. It's so funny. There's actually an outtake of that from the making of Blade.

SPEAKER_03 8:56

There's the part at the end of the movie, not to jump too far to the end, but that part where he tries we can jump right to the ending.

SPEAKER_02 9:02

It's fine.

SPEAKER_03 9:02

He tries to fix the antenna outside and he shocks himself. And I had just watched some episode, I don't remember what exactly what it was, but it was one of it was like a dead meat podcast. They talked about like, oh, there's a horror trope of like the killer cutting the power and the climax, so like the power goes out. Right. They're like, has there ever been a movie where a killer tries to do that and then electrocuted themselves and like the next morning they just find him dead on the ground? I'm like, that's what this movie should have had.

SPEAKER_02 9:27

People don't know, but that's what happened at the beginning of the Santa Claus. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:33

That's right. So if you haven't seen The Breed, it is the movie that asks a dog question. What if there was not just a dog breed, but the dog breed? Yeah. And in fact, drop the dog because it sounds cleaner. This movie was produced by dogs out.

SPEAKER_02 9:54

Apparently the dogs let the dogs out, if I understand the plot correctly. Well, they rediscover the plot three times. It's the funniest thing in the world. Because the idea of the movie is that there was this training facility for seeing eye dogs, but it was actually for combat purposes.

SPEAKER_03 10:12

Umbrella was training them.

SPEAKER_02 10:13

Right. At the beginning of the movie, uh, Blake Lively's brother says Wait, wait, wait. Yeah. What? The blonde kid. He's Blake Lively's brother. Is that true? Yeah, I think so. Really? Oh, Eric Lively. He says something to the effect of there was this training facility out here and they shut it down like 10 years ago because the dogs all got rabies and they had to be put down. Well, hang on. Keeping in mind, he says this after the dog has shown up and bit their friend. Right. Uh huh. He doesn't mention it until him and Michelle Rodriguez are alone. He's like, Yeah, it's crazy she got bit by a random dog because he really does. It's so weird because there was this old facility. That reminds me about these crazy rabies dogs. And I'm like, why wouldn't you mention that when the dog fucking showed up? Like when the puppy shows up, why weren't you like, hang on, there's a rabies-filled facility? This could be one of those fucked up dogs. Yeah. 30 minutes later in the movie, he goes, Yeah, they shut this facility down a year ago, and I think they had to put the dogs down. And then 30 minutes after that, he goes, When they shut this facility down, they put all the dogs down. But I guess some of them survived. And he's like, When was the timeline? Why have you discovered this again for the third time? Like, it's so crazy how badly written this movie is. Yeah. It's not even 90 minutes. This this movie features like for the male roles, like the light versions of other actors. Like the guy that plays Johnny looks like if you took like Crystalia and dunked him in like acid, and like there's your actor for the movie. Which I mean, we should. Yeah, he should be. Well, Oliver Hudson was in Scream Queens with my favorite actress. I noticed. I have no specs on his name. That's true. Well, I know. Uh, what's his name from Lost? Uh-huh. Ian Summerholder. No, that's from the Vampire Diaries. No, yeah, no, him. Yeah, yeah. Is he in this? He plays Boone in Lost. He was supposed to be. Oh, okay. I was like, he's in the background. And then he dropped out.

SPEAKER_03 12:06

You know what? Better actor, I gotta tell you. Well, not by much, but better.

SPEAKER_02 12:10

So Michelle Rodriguez was in this weird middle ground where she played early 20s for 30 years. Yeah. And like every actor in this movie is sort of doing that. Like they're clearly in their late 30s, early 40s, playing vague college age. It's like that movie, um, The Last Supper I talked about last season, where like Cameron Diaz is supposed to be a college student. Right.

SPEAKER_03 12:33

But I'm like, you look like you're like 35. Like, I mean, I guess you could technically be a college student. But like Eric Lively looks like a bad college teacher. Exactly. If you took both Matt David and Bid Affleck, smashed their heads together, wiped away the blood, this is what this guy looks like. Oh my god. It's so bizarre. But this movie was produced by First Look Studios who went under 16 years ago.

SPEAKER_02 12:56

And they made should have given it a second look. Hey. Look at that. I snailed it.

SPEAKER_03 13:01

They made truly some of the movies of all time because they made the 2008 Day of the Dead remake. They made Ernest Goes to Africa and Ernest in the Army. Holy shit.

SPEAKER_02 13:13

The two final Ernest movies. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:15

Uh-huh. They made 2009's Triangle, which is a movie I would actually stick up for as being pretty good.

SPEAKER_02 13:20

Ernest goes to the Bermuda Triangle.

SPEAKER_03 13:22

They also made their only animated movie, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colin movie film for theaters.

SPEAKER_02 13:28

Oh, that movie rules.

SPEAKER_03 13:29

And of course they made Bad Lieutenant Colid port of call New Orleans. Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:34

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 13:35

Mm-hmm. Which started as a screenplay for Ernest Goes to New Orleans. Sure did. Hey Vern, this is my lucky crackpipe. Do you think at some point if they hadn't gone bankrupt, they would have made Ernest goes to the island from the breed house?

SPEAKER_03 13:49

That I might actually be interested in.

SPEAKER_02 13:51

These dogs are crazy, Vern.

SPEAKER_03 13:53

This movie is free to watch on YouTube if you want to watch it.

SPEAKER_02 13:57

That is German engineering, Vern. But it's it's not necessary. This is barely a movie, is what I'll say. I think this is one of those episodes where this will suffice for not watching the movie.

SPEAKER_03 14:09

Yes, much like a Jill Ribbs or something like that. Absolutely. Unless you want to see Balsack.

SPEAKER_02 14:15

Wait, did you guys actually watch it? Yes. Oh, I just watched clips on Instagram. Nice. I mean, that there's so much filler in this movie.

SPEAKER_03 14:23

Like it's barely meeting its runtime.

SPEAKER_02 14:26

Yeah. They decide that they're gonna take the car at like the 45-minute mark, and then we spend 30 minutes going to the car and not starting it, and then another 20 minutes going to the car and then starting it. Dude, the fact that that car fucking starts is so crazy. Pisses me off so much. And I don't want to say all the problems start at the top, but I will say during the opening credits, there is a producer credit for executive producer Henry Winterstern. And you can't trick me, Harvey Weinstein. I know that's you.

SPEAKER_03 15:00

Uh all right, boys, let's get into the info, dump.

SPEAKER_02 15:08

So as I mentioned, the year is 2006. The director is Nicholas Mostrendrea? Uh-huh. Mostrendrea. I think another shot. Monster Man. Monstradea. Monster Mash. Uh movie stars Michelle Rodriguez, Oliver Hudson, Taryn Manning, who you may know as the meth head from Orange is the New Black. Right. Eric Lively, Hill Harper, Nick Barrain, Lisa Marie Schneider. The budget, unknown. I could not find any information on how much this thing cost. Buddy, they put it all on the screen, too. They sure did. I'm seeing here it was $4 in a dream.

SPEAKER_03 15:41

You know, if they would have just added a goggler to that production, Eric Roberts could have showed up for this thing.

SPEAKER_02 15:46

Damn true.

SPEAKER_03 15:47

And it managed to gross $1.6 million. That's so much money, boy. That's too much, actually.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

That's actually more than I'll ever have. I hate that. I mean, that's like the second week box office for Supergirl. Oh my god. Yeah, you're right.

SPEAKER_03 16:03

And also too much. It currently sits at a 29% on Rotten Tomatoes.

SPEAKER_02 16:09

That's crazy. A little high? A little high. A little high?

SPEAKER_03 16:15

You know this movie's bad and has no footprint culturally because Roger Hubert didn't even bother reviewing it.

SPEAKER_02 16:22

I did try to find it.

SPEAKER_03 16:24

Speaking of, let's see this trailer because I can't imagine what this fucking thing looks like.

SPEAKER_02 16:39

Where did I get the plane? Good question. Have you guys ever seen a plane like that though? I had that same note. I was very confused by the plane itself. It's very strange. This is just so innocuous. Like this looks like nothing. Put Michelle Rodriguez in a bikini in the trailer and people will watch it. Yeah. This water is so gross. I know. I'm sorry. Those two dudes going, hey, is my favorite part of the movie. Pretty great. It's pretty funny. Yeah, asshole. Yeah. On purpose to get to me so this trailer fucking sucks. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to even be around anymore.

SPEAKER_05 17:59

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 18:00

I feel like it's literally every action shot they had in the movie compressed into a minute and a half. They're one explosion. Yeah. Oh, it's done. Oh, I thought the sound just dropped out. What the fuck was that? Nope. That's just the trailer just ends just like the fucking movie does. What the fuck was that? I watched a trailer for the sequel, and I swear it looks like the dogs were created with AI. Like it is. It looks worse than this movie. Hang on. Can we pull that up, DC? Sure. What's it called? A breed apart? No, it's not. Come on. That's not real. Yes, it is. It is. Oh my god. And I mean a full spread. I I pulled my breed apart. As my concho. Spread my breed as my concho. Are we certain this is a sequel to this movie? It is. Okay. Yeah, because it's about a group of influencers who go to an island where they shot a movie about killer dogs. Wait, they Blair Witch 2 Book of Shadows it? They do. No fucking way. Yeah, they took inspiration from the best. Oh, this is a red band trailer. Oh boys, we're gonna see some cool stuff. Oh, let's go. And you want to talk about Brain Rot. When I pulled up the first movie on YouTube, the top comment was, God, I love old movies. Hayden Pantier? What? Oh yeah, Hayden Panettier is in this. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_05 19:21

Hello.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

I hate to say it, but it looks more like a movie. Yeah. Oh my god. Damn. That was awful. Yeah, they basically You can't do an Anaconda 2025 about this movie. I know that guy looks like you. Yeah, I guess he is cool as shit. The film is never finished because the animal trainer just vanished. We are here to help rescue the free roaming dogs. That's the fucking plot of this movie? What? So wait, it literally is the new Anaconda movie. Yeah, it's the new Anaconda. Orange is the new black. This is the new Anaconda. Breed Apart is the new Anaconda. Hey, dude, that new Anaconda honestly kinda rips. I didn't care for it, but I don't know. It's one of those movies where I feel like it was reshot heavily, wasn't it? It's so dumb.

SPEAKER_03 20:25

Okay, go fuck yourself, trailer.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

It is not the cult classic, the breed. I know, right? Everyone remembers the breed. Do you think I just hit a dog with a cactus? See, I'm gonna give the breed credit. They actually like spent like weeks training these dogs and like using real dogs on set. Yeah, that's why they all look funny as hell. Yeah, this looks fucking terrible. The dogs in the breed always look happy, and that's so funny to me. Oh, it makes it so much funnier. There are a bunch of good boys just go into town on these people. Yep. Yeah, this looks awful.

unknown 21:07

What?

SPEAKER_02 21:08

Like the dogs are AI, right? Okay, I know I just put on my last pick of the schedule for this season. Uh-huh. Is it too late to adjust?

SPEAKER_03 21:18

I might not be mad if you put this on there. No. What the fuck is going on in this trailer?

SPEAKER_02 21:29

They just deserve better than this.

unknown 21:34

Or are we going to be a bigger thing?

SPEAKER_02 21:35

I didn't even hear about this thing. Me neither. And it's a Lionsgate movie. Okay, you know. You know what? Let's watch that movie. Yeah, honestly. I feel like I'm watching tonight. Can the rest of our episode be watching that? We might have to add an episode to the length of the season be sure. Sure, sure. That's the new finale. Oh, God. I don't think we can let that go.

SPEAKER_03 22:04

Okay, so my first note about this movie is this 2000s ass font they're using for their title.

SPEAKER_02 22:10

This shit looks like ass. You mean Helvetica? Is the breed written in Helvetica? No, no, but it is like the most like I guess I scrolled down a little bit in uh Microsoft Word to find this one. I'm in the H's. Yeah, it's Helvetica Bold. Like, look at this shit. This looks awful. Well, no, it's the you wouldn't steal a dog.

unknown 22:30

That's the find.

SPEAKER_03 22:31

So this movie starts with this rich, douchey couple on their private little yacht out in the ocean, and they just happen to spot an island in the distance.

SPEAKER_02 22:41

And they're like, hey, let's just go right to that. Hey, look, land. Does it ever specify where this island fucking is? Nope. I don't think so. Canada. I don't fucking know. Because the guy says, I'm not lost. I just don't know where we are. And I was too distracted by the fact that they could afford the dandy warholes for this opening sequence. I thought this was going to be like some open water shit because this looks exactly like that movie does. Like it's like that bad. But they dock on this island. The girl walks off looking for quote unquote the bar. Right. You know. Yeah, because all islands have a bar. They dock at this tropical island that looks exactly like Forks, Washington, once they're in the woods. Because they shot this in somewhere in Africa, I feel like, wasn't it? Oh, that makes sense. Actually, around this time, a lot of movies were getting shot either in like South Africa or in uh Romania for tax write-offs. I mean, some of these wide shots look decent. But it also definitely looks like fucking Washington. Yeah, it sure does. Like these mountains look like that. Ashley said it was Lake Flaccid. Uh but yeah, she wanders off and finds a gated-off building with no one around, so she decides to head back into the woods where she's eventually attacked by some rabid dogs and dragged back into the woods. Oh, dude, when she turns around and says, Wolf right here, it made me want to vomit. She gets like attacked by some of these dogs. She gets her fingers bitten off and she doesn't react. She just kind of is like, huh. She looks at this empty building and then just starts getting scared. Like there's no sounds, nothing happens. Yep. The movie's just trying to tell you, oh, and now there's tension. Yeah. Well, Nathan, buildings are scary. You're right. They can come out of nowhere. Yeah, in the middle of the woods at any time. I will say this girl getting dragged and hitting her head on every tree is very funny. Yep. Like it's very hot rod coated.

SPEAKER_03 24:32

It is hot rod. I also love maybe my favorite shot of the movie is the match cut of her being dragged into the woods by the dog to the airplane from the top-down view.

SPEAKER_02 24:41

I think it's very funny. Where she's in her Jesus Christ pose. Yes. Yeah. The shit was so fucking. Seriously, that plane's fucking weird. It's super weird. I've never seen a plane that look like that. Never. And also, whose plane is it? I guess not Bradley Cooper. I guess it's his plane. Listeners, if any of you are aviation enthusiasts, please write in. Yes, please. Tell us about this plane. Yeah. Have you ever seen a rotor on the back of a plane? Let us know what the fuck's going on here. He's obviously a pilot of some kind, but yet they make him out to be this fuck up of the movie in the family. It seems like he's doing pretty well. He's got a plane, he's a pilot. At one point in the movie, he's just like, oh yeah, by the way, I'm like an electrical expert. I know everything about radios. Yeah, I can wire this cell phone to that radio tower. Oh my god, we'll talk about that. If his parents reject him just because he's not a doctor, I feel like that's the parents' fault, not his. You're right. Justice for Johnny.

SPEAKER_03 25:36

No, no, no, no, no. Johnny's a piece of shit. Let's be honest.

SPEAKER_02 25:41

He's only here for the zipline. Everyone in the plane's talking about their majors and their relationships. They're just trying to front load their characters. They're like, I'm a communications major. I'm trying to get into medical school. I'm your brother. You're dating my brother. We have a history. Like, everyone's just like announcing their own traits to each other. The quote unquote characters. Wait, is that where we're fucking up? Should we start giving a hitch like a lore lesson every time we start an episode? Every episode. I'm the sexy one. The silence. As if it is by the mustache in the show.

SPEAKER_03 26:18

So we get introduced to this group of douchebags on this little plate as they arrive on presumably the same island. They don't ever say until like we find that guy later on from the cold open.

SPEAKER_02 26:30

And we watch them unload everything in the plane for a while. They're there for just a party weekend. That's it. Just the basic setup of a movie. So it's Matt and Johnny are these two brothers who are going to stay at their uncle's cabin, and they go in for this party weekend. Someone immediately grabs a bottle of wine, and Matt says, I think it would be really disrespectful to drink his booze. And someone in the group says, Come on, he's dead. Why is this happening? You don't even want to be here. And look, I know she's had her issues. Taryn Manning, I think this might have been like at the height of her alcoholism, possibly. Like, or at least like at one of the peaks, because she seems not quite there this entire film. Even before she gets super psychic rabies. I wonder if that's the direction as well.

SPEAKER_03 27:24

Which I feel like no one in this movie is given any. Yeah. So Noah and Sarah headed to the basement to fix the power while Matt and Nikki just kind of make out in the hallway.

SPEAKER_02 27:35

And I just were get off the goddamn floor. Yeah. Because they're just like rolling around in the flo in the hallway. Like, what are you doing? Also, I want to point out that a lot of things happen in time frames that wouldn't be possible. Like he's just like, found these in the wine cellar. I'm like, we just saw you walk in the water. Walk in the front door. Yeah. We established later the wine cellar's in the basement. Yes. And then later in the movie, it happens again when they're like, oh, the dogs are at the dock. It cuts to one of them, and then two seconds later, it shows it's like, oh no. And the plane is like 50 feet away. That made me laugh so fucking hard.

SPEAKER_03 28:07

What the fuck? That play just slowly floating down the river is so fucking funny.

SPEAKER_02 28:12

He finds the wine cellar three times in the movie. No, when he goes down to the basement later, he like stumbles upon it. He's like, Oh my god. I'm like, that was like the first thing you did when you got here.

SPEAKER_03 28:24

Yeah. I hate when I walk through the basement door that makes me forget the last 15 minutes of my life.

SPEAKER_02 28:29

You pointed out that they start making out in the hallway, and what's so funny is they start making out and he goes, you know, the attic is for secret makeout parties, and he starts putting her hair up, and I'm like, that is presumptuous. Yeah. And then she pulls down the ladder to the attic and he picks her up like he's gonna carry her across the threshold. And I'm like, up a fucking ladder? Yep. Just because you couldn't do it, Nathan. Say that to my fucking mustache.

SPEAKER_03 28:58

So they all just have a drinking party out in the lake, and this goes on for quite some time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:04

I was so fucking mad because like they had this long montage of them drinking out the lake. It cuts to them finding this puppy. Yeah. And then we cut back to the montage. So I'm like, no, keep the movie going. Don't go back. The second montage is them just fucking around on the merry-girl round. God. Well, we gotta set that merry-girl round up, man. It comes into play later. Okay, guys, I found the plane. Oh shit. It's called a CB. CB. Look at this goofy ass shit. Okay, listeners that are into aviation, we figured it the fuck out. Do not write in. What the fuck is this? This is something Daffy Duck would fly. Like what the? I feel like I had this hot wheel. Like, this is what it looks like. Actually, you know what? Aviation enthusiasts, actually, do write in. Explain to me how the fuck does that thing work? And do your best impression of it. This looks like if a kid tried to draw a helicopter. From memory. From memory, yes. Oh man. What the fuck? This goofy ass fucking thing. It's a silly little guy. It is. You know what? This is the silly little guy of airplanes. This is yeah, this is some shit that Q would call James Bond. He's like, well, I've got your little plane. Double07, go pick up your little plane. It can only fly 50 feet. Now pay attention. It looks like a piece of it is missing. Yeah, the propeller. Boys, we can buy the official shirt. They got CB merch. Damn. Oh, hell yeah, brother. Oh, it comes in navy, sports, gray, white. Is this in the Patreon budget for us to get? It sure is. Just an order of white 3XL. Nathan, you need a new shirt here. We'll get you this one. Wait, hang on. We can get 10% off our first order, y'all. So we gotta order in bulk. I was worried this episode would have nothing to talk about. But you know what? I'm glad we found a way. Personalized with your N number? What does that mean? Uh into your tail number. Uh tail number? Uh 696969. And a card. Hell yeah. Boys, the price went down after I put it in the card. Yeah, because you get 10% off your first order. 6969 was the secret password. That was the promo code. They're like, you get a discount because they're like, there's no way this is the real tilt number. If it is, he's a lunch. I want a bumper sticker that says my other car is an RC3 C B. We gotta make some merch now with this fucking goofy ass thing. We gotta put uh speed buggy's face on it. This thing is the speed buggy of planes. We gotta put Corey and Michael in one of these motherfuckers.

SPEAKER_03 31:53

Yes! Yes! Uh and we look look, what we do is we we just anthropomorphize the play to put speed buggy's eyes and mouth on the front.

SPEAKER_02 32:02

God, it's so good. Guys, I also uh when I was looking it up, I also saw one for sale. What? For uh 235,000. Hold on, let me click on the shopping button. We can get the official TSLP CB. Yeah, the ride to ride to our eventual live shows. God. Okay, so back to the movie, I guess. We've spent so much time on this fucking plane. They're they're drinking some more that night when the puppy growls at the only black character of the movie before running off. Wait, dude, the reveal of the puppy, the way its paws fall into frame, yeah. So cute. It's so funny. They constantly ADR growls over dogs just like twagging their tails and not doing anything. There's one shot later on the movie where they're all just laying out chilling, and we're like, oh no.

SPEAKER_03 32:52

Yeah, oh my god. When it cuts to the like the reveal of the dogs laying on the airplane wings, it was so fucking funny.

SPEAKER_02 33:01

God damn it. So fucking funny. It's not like a jump scare. Yes. Well, because every like they like build up these dogs to be horrifying, but the whole time, all I can fucking think is they all just look like the goodest boys. They sure do. Yeah, I would die immediately. They're all wine drunk, and Johnny and Noah are just sexually harassing Taryn Manning. Well, it was the early 2000s. Yes. And then Noah asks if they want some wine and the scene ends. Yep. And then we get to the dog being scary. Hey, it's a pivotal scene plot-wise. It sure is. So the dog runs off, and Sarah and Johnny head out to find it, and they do, but then Sarah's bitten by a much bigger and more aggressive dog before it runs off. Okay. Did you guys think that the puppy had spontaneously grown up from some kind of army drugs? Because that's what I thought. 100%.

SPEAKER_03 33:55

I did not, but now I'm upset that I didn't.

SPEAKER_02 33:58

That's really what I thought the movie was about. Also, can you go back to around 20 minutes and 40 seconds to the way Taryn Manning says the word yes? Sure.

SPEAKER_05 34:07

Is that the sound of an 85 medoc calling me? Yes. Yesh. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 34:14

Yes. Yesh. God. I replayed that like four times. So here's my thing. Sarah gets bit by this dog. Correct. And we're told, oh, that dog probably has rabies. You know, you're good for a couple of days at least, so let's keep partying. You know how rabies makes you psychic. Well, my question is, they they keep saying, oh, once you get rabies, it's you're done for. Like unless you get immediate medical attention, you know, you got a bit of time. Would it not have been best for this movie, just for the movie's sake, to show a character, get rabies, and then turn rabbit at some point. Yes. That never happens. It never happens. We get threatened with it. At one point, she shoves Johnny and she's like, I'm sorry. And then that's it. Like instead, they just like become part of like the fucking herd mentality. Wait, how'd she say that? I'm sorry. She is playing Eric Cartman in this movie.

SPEAKER_03 35:07

The way they choose to have her character die, not by the rabies, but by an extraordinarily violent death, which we'll get to in a minute, did make me laugh so fucking hard.

SPEAKER_02 35:19

She basically turns to the camera and is like, I think it's time for me to die soon. And then she like does.

SPEAKER_03 35:25

She father carrots this fucking dog out this window.

SPEAKER_02 35:28

It's so fucking funny. God. But no, you're right, Mally. Like, somehow getting rabies puts them all on the same wavelength. Like, get to put like you become part of the puppy hive mind. I guess so, yeah. Game recognizes game, to quote Michelle Rodriguez. Yeah, yeah. You become part of the breed. Ooh. Boo. Dustin, do you remember when John used to have like this vocal stim? In your mind. I don't know if I should say it. Please. No, please. Now I'm I mean at this fucking point. I gotta know. He would just scream, uh, we need to breed him. Is he a big fan of this movie?

SPEAKER_03 36:06

He's probably never even heard. Should we call him and ask him like we did about Hitch?

SPEAKER_02 36:11

Yes, do it right now. All right, let's do it. JT call him first, then Dustin call him so he answers. Alright, I'm calling Hauser right now. Alright, if he hasn't, then ask him if he likes Hitch. I'll pretend like it's the first time I've ever asked him to. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_05 36:31

Hello?

SPEAKER_02 36:32

Hey.

SPEAKER_03 36:34

Have you ever heard of a movie called The Breed from 2006? The Breed? Yeah, with Michelle Rodriguez. No. Oh, we're we're talking about it right now on the on the show, and I just feel like it would be a movie you'd really like.

SPEAKER_05 36:48

Michelle Rodriguez?

SPEAKER_03 36:49

Yeah, this is like post Fast and Furious and SWAT and Resident Evil.

SPEAKER_04 36:55

No, no, no. I've never heard of The Breed.

SPEAKER_03 36:58

Oh, you should check it out. It's really good. I was like, alright, I know the Brood.

SPEAKER_02 37:02

The Brood. Not the Brood, the Breed. Okay. Okay, but what about Hitch? Also The Brood, but we got the Breed. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Also, is Hitch a good movie?

SPEAKER_03 37:12

I just can't remember.

unknown 37:20

Really? No. Actually, I was thinking about this the other day.

SPEAKER_03 37:31

That'd be safe.

SPEAKER_02 37:33

I think my brother has one of those on his truck. That'd be safe.

SPEAKER_03 37:36

Oh hell yeah. I'm into that. Alright, well, the breed is on YouTube in full if you ever want to watch it. So check that out if you get a chance.

SPEAKER_05 37:45

Just like the filmmakers intended.

SPEAKER_03 37:47

Exactly. Exactly. I think it's also on Tubi.

SPEAKER_02 37:50

Awesome.

SPEAKER_03 37:51

Alright, dude. That's all I gotta say. I just want to know if you'd seen this movie or not.

SPEAKER_02 37:54

No, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 37:55

Okay, great. Thanks. I'll talk to you later.

SPEAKER_02 37:59

Bye. Well, there you have it, folks. This is my new favorite segment. Can you imagine a Criterion Collection hitch? What if he was like, oh, I love the Breed? It's my favorite movie. I honestly expected him to go, hell yeah. Yeah. I knew his answer was gonna be the Breed. Yep, me too. Uh so anyway. What did we call him about last time? Oh, Hellhouse LLC, of course. Hellhouse LLC. Uh-huh. Breedhouse.

unknown 38:28

Breedhouse.

SPEAKER_02 38:30

That night, Matt tells Nikki that on the other side of the island there used to be a compound that some company owned. They used to train dogs, but at some point the dogs got rabies. Again, he doesn't mention it when their friend gets attacked by a wild dog. I know. And he's like, I bet a couple of them got out. He ends it by saying, rabies is always fatal in dogs. And she says, So what are you saying? And he goes, I don't know. And then they go to sleep. He's like, look, I have so much gel in my hair right now, I can't think straight. So let's just go to bed. He's got the full like Chad Michael Murray One Tree Hill haircut. Yes. His hair never falls out in this movie. And he he tells Sarah, uh Taryn Manning, he's like, Oh, you're not gonna get rabies. And she asks, so they have to like stick a bunch of needles under my skin, right? And I'm like, Yeah, that's that's how fucking needles work. Like they go under the skin. No, you just gotta put them in the mouth. Oh, fuck me. I've been using needles wrong. So that night, Johnny finds Sarah staring out the window, and they start to make out, but she notably bites him on his lip before heading off to bed.

SPEAKER_03 39:32

You see where this is going, everybody? Yeah. You kind of get it? Because it goes nowhere. I just gotta go ahead and tell you.

SPEAKER_02 39:37

She's staring out the window for a while, and Ashley said, I wish she turned around and had a dog face.

SPEAKER_03 39:43

Or she just kind of howled.

SPEAKER_02 39:45

Also, I just realized why this dude looks so familiar. Did anyone else ever see the made for TV version of The Shining? Oh, he does kind of look like the Weber. Yes. Fuck. That's been bugging me this whole time. Yeah. She bites his lip, he says, easy tiger, and then she says, go away. He goes with it. So he does. What if she was like, go get? Go. Go on, get. I can't afford to keep you no more. Go outside, nerd. So the next morning, the guys decide to go off in the woods to hunt something. They clearly just like were pouring water on that window. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a PA right off camera just dunking a sawney down this window. Because that's not how rain works. Before the guys go out hunting, though, we see Sarah eating hunting. Let's call it hunting. She's spreading butter on a on toast really aggressively. She steals the last little pancake, and the camera keeps cutting to her with foreboding music, like this is the scariest thing that's ever happened. She's just being rude at a continental breakfast. And then Nikki, who is Michelle Rodriguez, is just looking quite concerned. Yeah. Well, none of them have ever eaten breakfast with Nathan. That's true. That's Nathan how he eats breakfast. That's my fucking pancake. I'm getting that fucking bacon, dog.

SPEAKER_03 41:03

And so in a moment where he's left alone, Noah gets surrounded by a bunch of dogs before eventually escaping back to Matt and Johnny. And dude, when they showed this fucking dog up in the tree as like a scout watching, I fucking lost my mind.

SPEAKER_02 41:16

It's so funny. I was like, the dogs have snipers. To the movie's credit, I kinda like the bit of them realizing they don't hear any other animals in the woods. Like the dogs have like hunted the island clean. I think that's kind of good.

SPEAKER_03 41:32

Also, kind of good. The trio runted to the guy from the opening scene. He's bloodied and beaten. He's like, you gotta get off this island, and he's immediately tackled by these dogs and ripped a fucking part. They don't want you here.

SPEAKER_02 41:43

They're talking about how how quiet and silent it is. This dude just walks right like he's three feet away from them before they notice. Yep. Meanwhile, Sarah's at the cabin and she's like, they're coming. Like she can sense them.

SPEAKER_03 41:56

So they they race back to the cabin, they head inside with the girls before the dogs like swarm the cabin. This movie has no sauce, boys.

SPEAKER_02 42:02

I don't know if we've mentioned it yet or not, but like when all the dogs start to swarm as a group as they try to get back inside the cabin, there is no tension. There's no excitement. This scene should be a layup in terms of like tension building. No, it's because someone's standing on the porch going, and that's like that's the extent of the stun training in this movie.

SPEAKER_03 42:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:25

These dogs, they look like they just want to play, they just want to have a good time, and then they just yeah, ADR in a bunch of snarls and shit. Oh, but then we get maybe the best thing to ever be put to film. Yeah, sir. We do. This is the the highlight of the movie. So yeah, like Michelle Rodriguez is about to get attacked by one of these dogs, and we've seen Johnny with a bow and arrow earlier, and like the camera does a 360 bullet time shot and it goes in slow mo. We're watching it right now. He shoots the arrow. Do you think he's gonna hit the dog?

SPEAKER_03 42:54

It goes right through Michelle Rodriguez's fucking leg. It is so goddamn funny.

SPEAKER_02 42:58

The best part is the dog reacts as if he sees it coming. The dog leaves and then the arrow goes through her. It is, dare I say, Monty Python-esque. Like it is so funny. Oh, the best part is that after he shoots her in the leg, the dog turns around like, really, bro? Like you dumbass. You're an asshole. And then the dog, I love that the dog runs back to like report to the rest of the troop. Like, you're not gonna believe what this fucking idiot did. Listen to this shit. They've turned on each other. I will say, as far as effects go, it looks really good. It does. The arrow going through her leg. Yeah. And then, yeah, they look out, they see the dogs, they close the door, and then Noah looks out the window two seconds later and says, Hey y'all, the plane's floating off. And the plane is just somehow 50 feet down the river. Pocahana style, just around the riverbend.

SPEAKER_03 43:48

Well, so like they all gather around Michelle Rodriguez, like, oh, we gotta get this fucking arrow out. People never take anything out that has pierced a human body. Leave that shit in, you're gonna die. And then The way Noah says, Everyone, shut up, you're driving me crazy is funny because it's like so widey the way he says it.

SPEAKER_02 44:06

He drives me crazy. I love that this as they're arguing, Noah just like keeps walking into frame, saying something, and then walking back out of frame. Uh-huh. This man cannot enunciate. Nope. I had no clue what he was saying the entire scene. And you're right, like every three seconds. Right here. He just he walks into frame, says something, and then walks right back out. Yep. It's incredible. Right there. He's talking, he's talking, he's talking. Walks out of frame. And he does that like eight times. Anytime there is a lull, he comes in, he's like, this shit's insane. And then he walks away again.

SPEAKER_03 44:39

Uh-uh. There is almost a deep blue scene here. That's what Ashley said too. Because he's walking by this window.

SPEAKER_02 44:47

Deep blue scene. He did say deep blue scene. Yes. Credit where credit's due. Deep blue scene is maybe the best thing you've ever said.

SPEAKER_03 44:54

Oh god, I didn't even realize I did that. I did a portmanteau.

SPEAKER_02 44:57

Yeah. Oops. That's the name of our next album. But yeah, he he this dog leaves his window. It almost kills Noah before Johnny pulls him off. Oh no. DC, slow it down. Uh-huh. He reacts before the dog comes through the window. He does. Oh, that's so funny. And the dog doesn't even like attack him at first. He just kind of like knocks him down. He's like, hey, what's up? And just starts barking at Taryn Manning, like, oh, you're not one of us. It's like, hey, pet me. This is suddenly the cabin siege in Resident Evil 4, but with dogs instead of zombies. I was thinking the same thing. I was thinking the same thing. And then like the dogs start trying to break it, and like Matt has a vendetta against dogs this entire movie. Oh I'm sorry, Johnny does. Johnny does. Yeah. I'll tell you what this movie needed. We needed, like, you know, that hero Orokai that, like, in Fellowship of the Ring, he like clearly is like the head one that's trying to kill Eric or we need that for dogs. Oh my god, that would have been amazing. There's so many dog deaths at the head of Johnny. There's one dog that has like scarring on its face. It's the one that attacks Michelle Rodriguez outside. Yeah. But they kind of forget about that dog like halfway through. That dog should have shown up at the very end. Yeah. Okay, so there's the plane. Uh-huh. One, two, three, four, five. And now it's just gone. Yeah. You gotta be kidding me. The plane's gone. So you're telling me the dogs chewed through that and it drifted 50 feet down the water in seven seconds. Yep. I wish a dog was behind the wheel, like Tools' style. Like it is just like the dog has stolen the plane.

SPEAKER_03 46:35

So Matt steals the zip light handle everything and attaches it to a cable connecting their cabin to this garage that's down the way.

SPEAKER_02 46:44

Yeah, thank God. Wait, hang on. We're gonna skip past Yeah, yeah, hold on. We're gonna skip past Johnny swimming to the boat and revealing the dogs are just hanging out on it. God, it's such a funny reveal. Sorry, plane, not boat. This is the part of the movie where they just keep going outside and then thinking better of it. Yeah, it was like all of us in like June 2020. There's a moment where they throw the dead dog outside and these dogs descend and start eating it. And we introduce a new dog that's all white so they can cover his face in jelly and make it look like he's been eating the dog. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 47:19

Also, I want to remind everyone this is post-Michelle Rodriguez getting an arrow through the leg.

SPEAKER_02 47:24

She's just walking around like it's no fucking problem. She's incredibly spry. She is the one that they're like, okay, you gotta ride the zipline over to the shed because their plan is to get the car that's in there. Yeah. That remember, this car has been sitting here for what, at least a decade? At least 20 years is what they say. But remember, it started earlier somehow. Yes, yes. They say it's been sitting there for 20 years, ever since one of the brothers, Johnny, drove it into the lake. So, like, this thing shouldn't work 80 times over. No. Like, when I get back to LA after being gone for like work, my car's been sitting there for four months. That motherfucker doesn't start. Yeah, you can't just cold start a car. There's no way this car's starting. Yeah. We gotta get Casey Jones and Donatello out there to work on it. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_03 48:12

So she gets inside this bar, she tries to start the car.

SPEAKER_02 48:14

Donnie, come fucking jump my Ford Fiesta. She can't, so the dogs break in, she climbs up the rafters, she gets back. This whole scene was for not, basically. But again, not for nothing. Michelle Rodriguez like lifting herself up into the rafters, pretty impressive work from that actor. Again, they all have very specific skills for this very specific situation. They're like some kind of suicide squad. Oh.

SPEAKER_03 48:39

And dude, again, the way Johnny is able to shoot a dog that's jumping mid-air from like a hundred feet away.

SPEAKER_02 48:47

Dude, okay. Yeah, he fucked up with that one shot, but the rest of this movie, he is fucking surgical with those fucking arrows, dude. He is.

SPEAKER_03 48:56

He's legoless, dude. He said never again.

SPEAKER_02 48:58

This one that he pops out of mid-air is wild.

SPEAKER_03 49:02

I'm telling you, dude, he's legoless into the two towers.

SPEAKER_02 49:05

He's just like 17, 18. Watch this fucking shot. Hold up. Look at this. God. Hits the dog so hard, it backflips in mid-air. I know. There are moments in this movie that genuinely looks like a dog died. Yeah. Like there is a scene towards the end where, like, credit to the filmmakers, I guess. It looks like they run over five dogs. Yeah. And I'm hoping they didn't. This is like a dog's purpose before a dog's purpose. This is like the 2006's My Lua Notice. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Also, this is a movie that is post-Michelle Rodriguez becoming like a household name. Yeah. And she, I think its biggest mistake is not making her the main character. She just kind of like fades into the background a lot of the times. When was she written off of Lost? Was that after this? Uh well, Lost starts in what, 2004? Yeah, so maybe this is after that. Let's see. Because there was a period of time where like that was the big story was that she had to be written out of Lost. And then she kind of floundered for a little bit. And then I don't know. Yeah, it was a weird time for her career. But that's like when she was in demand. Like I said, she had been in Resident Evil. She had been the Fast and Furious. She was it's not a great movie, but she was in SWAT. Like she Girl Fight. Girl Fight. She had become like a household name. So like I can understand her going from because this is still before the golden age of television where like you had TV actors and you had movie actors. So she was like, I'm getting elevated. Right, 100%. So down in the basement, Noah finds a tunnel, I think, where he is attacked by a pack of dogs. I don't know. They rip this man's throat out. They do. They pull his throat out and no one has a reaction to it. No. They watch it happen and they're like, huh. So season two of Lost was like 2005 into 2006. Okay. So which was her final full season. That makes sense. Okay, so then maybe this is like shortly after that. Yeah, her career is very interesting. Dude, after Noah is attacked by the dogs and like the dogs are in the house, we just keep cutting to shots of Johnny who's like dropkicking dogs in the face. She fucking hates him. Everyone else is trying to get to the attic. He's like, I gotta take out as many as I can. Again, it's very much like there was something in the air like two years after this. Batman's punching dogs in the face. That is literally his fucking character development. It's his art film.

SPEAKER_03 51:26

The most you get out of this movie in terms of a eulogy for Noah is Sarah doing her best John Travolta Pulp Fiction when he shoots Marvin in the face.

SPEAKER_02 51:35

She goes, I can't believe Noah's dead. She does it. That's all you get. And everyone kind of looks at her like, wait, who's Noah? Who's Mark? Who the fuck is Noah? In the attic, they find evidence that the compound was training attack dogs and possibly even experimented on them. So that means that their father or grandfather, whoever it is, was complicit in all this shit. Yeah, why does he have those fucking notes? No idea. The group was called AMCS Army Mountain Combat School. Hell yeah. We can't get a second draft on that. Sounds like some shit where I would get a degree online in six months. Hey, don't knock it. That's how I was able to officiate your wedding.

SPEAKER_03 52:18

That's true. That's true.

SPEAKER_02 52:19

30 minutes on Army Mountain Combat School. That was gonna marry you, buddy.

SPEAKER_03 52:24

That's why the mustache had to come back here.

SPEAKER_02 52:26

Like I get it back back in my dress code. That's right. And now you can train CNI dogs. That's right. So that's just a combo there. And so the next morning they descend from the attic to find that the cabin has been ransacked, that the dogs are gone, and I'll love the little note that they pissed on everything to mark their territory. There's flies everywhere. I was like, is it Thick Piss? Like, what the fuck? All the dogs actually had credited names, and the lead dog, the scarred up one, his name actually was Thick Piss. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:56

We got Thick Piss, we got Fuckpig, we got them all.

SPEAKER_02 53:01

I'm putting together a team. And then there's just one just named Jeff. Did I miss where they come up with the plan to just push the car down the hill? I was so confused about what was happening here. This is some little rascals' bullshit. Yeah, I was waiting for three dogs in a trench coat to show up.

SPEAKER_03 53:22

One of them goes, What's the number for 911? Here's the thing, though. This has been at least like 24 hours since Sarah was bitten by the dog. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:31

They don't bother making her look disheveled or paler or anything. She looks exactly the same as she did at the start of the movie. Just sometimes she says crazy things. She also says here, like, I waited for 10 years for him to notice me. It just feels like it's over. And then like five minutes later, she's dead. Like I she's becomes psychic from getting bit by these dogs.

SPEAKER_03 53:52

Well, she says that, and then it cuts to like a reaction shot of Michelle Rodriguez, and it cuts back to her, and she's like in the corner with her leg hiked up and she's licking her own ass.

SPEAKER_02 54:01

Oh, you must have watched the unrated cut.

SPEAKER_03 54:04

I did, I did. So what on YouTube? They let that they let that shot in, surprisingly. And so, yeah, they get in this car, they manage to like get it, you know, the clutch popped and everything, and so they can drive it back. And they're driving back to the cabin, and the whole time I'm thinking, close the goddamn sunroof, you fucking idiots.

SPEAKER_02 54:19

And as soon as I say that, one of the dogs bursts through the side window. God damn it, these guys are fucking moral. They hereditary one of these dogs. I wrote the same road.

unknown 54:30

I wrote the same boat.

SPEAKER_02 54:31

Yep, they sure do. God, this shit was so fucking funny. This dude hates dogs. Maddie's like, give me the bow, and then he proceeds to never fire the bow until he drops it. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 54:42

God damn it. The fucking dog getting Charlie'd is so fucking funny.

SPEAKER_02 54:46

That shit was crazy. So Sarah says she doesn't want to leave because she's been bit and she knows she's gonna turn or whatever. I guess she's one of them now. I got that dog in me.

SPEAKER_03 55:00

Inside of you are two dogs.

SPEAKER_02 55:02

They both have rabies.

SPEAKER_03 55:04

They both have rabies. So Johnny tries to force her to leave as a dog breaks in and attacks her. Yeah. And her and this dog fall out this window and both get impaled on a stake.

SPEAKER_02 55:15

This shit was wild. And she like accepts it like it's her fate. Like it's it's cowboy bebop, and she is like in her final battle. Oh, I'm surprised there wasn't like a slow motion shot of her falling. Oh my god. Right? Just like slowly closing her eyes and gripping the dog tightly. She tells Michelle Rodriguez if I break eye contact, it's over. And I'm like, how do you know? Like, what do you mean? What are these rules? This shit woke me the fuck up.

SPEAKER_03 55:43

I was asleep in this movie, and this death, I was like, oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 55:47

She and the dog get impaled. Matt grabs Michelle Rodriguez and says, It's alright. Like, what do you mean it's alright? These people watch this woman fall to a horrific death, and not one of them screams, cries, nothing. And in fact, Michelle Rodriguez, the look on her face is like, oh no, this movie sucks, doesn't it? Oh, that sucks, man. I'm sorry. The slow reveal of her dead on the thing, though, as it just like turns is so fucking funny. I laughed really hard.

SPEAKER_03 56:16

You know what, guys? This movie's good. This movie's good. So the final three make it to the cop out, it turns out they were right. The dogs were being trained on.

SPEAKER_02 56:29

And yeah, Johnny heads to the roof to fix this antenna so they can call for help, but his dumbass gets shocked and falls several feet to the ground and is attacked by a bunch of dogs. Wait, after he wires a Nokia cell phone to the water tower. Yeah. And just to be clear, by wired, he just plugs it in. He does. He says nothing says we can't plug this cell phone into the radio tower. And I was like, yes, everything says that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 56:54

Well, so this shit means nothing. They they like we gotta fix the radio so we can call for help. And then they don't.

SPEAKER_02 56:59

They don't. The subtitles also started saying gentle brooding music, and I kept thinking it said gentle breeding music.

SPEAKER_03 57:08

That's careless whispers. That's what that is.

SPEAKER_02 57:10

No, that's when I that's when I put on the Cantina song on repeat. Also, they're like, How do you know how to do this? He's like, You'd be surprised what a piece of shit can learn. What? Yeah. I was like, what? So you went to a trade school. Fine. It's because it sounds like you learned all this shit in prison. Yeah, for real. It also seems that turning on the radio starts a fire, or do the dogs start the fire? What happens? We didn't start the fire. No, it was always burning.

SPEAKER_03 57:36

I miss some shit here because when it cuts to Michelle Rodriguez basically doing the plot of backdraft on these dogs, I was like, what the happened?

SPEAKER_02 57:43

I was trying to figure that. She stares at a fire and the way it is edited, it looks like Michelle Rodriguez uses television. Push the fire away. Yes. 100%. Thank you. She's a fire starter. She's a fire stopper. She's a reverse Drew Barrymore. God, this shit was so funny when these three dogs we get a reaction shot of them basically going, oh my explosion comes off. Oh my god. Justin, you just reminded me of my favorite clip in the world. JT, can you pull up? Just search Wheel of Fortune Scooby-Doo. This thing fucking kills me. Wheel of Fortune Scooby-Doo? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna bookmark this CB.

SPEAKER_03 58:23

You're just gonna bookmark Google images of the fucking plane slot.

SPEAKER_02 58:27

Good. Oh no, I was talking about yeah, buying the plane anyway.

SPEAKER_03 58:30

Gotcha. Wheel of Fortune Scooby-Doo. I don't is this like someone trying to guess a puzzle or something?

SPEAKER_02 58:35

No, it's someone gets a puzzle correctly and the answer is Scooby-Doo, and then uh the follow-up is incredible. Wait, is it an impression? Yeah. Okay, I didn't know what else to all right. Oh, here we go.

SPEAKER_01 58:46

I've got to solve. Well, you know, if you solve, there's a $7,000 jackpot. Go ahead. Shaggy and Scooby-Doo. I have just one thing to say to you. I have just one thing to say to you.

SPEAKER_02 59:43

What is the context of that? I think he was trying to do a Scooby-Doo impression. What? My God. I think about that every day. Anyway, back to this movie. Oh man. Give Kujo my best. Pretty good one-liner. Fuck all of the way off. What happened?

SPEAKER_03 1:00:02

Should they get into a boat at the end, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:04

The couple joke from the beginning? After they drive off the pier for no reason. True, true. They Thelma and Louise it for God knows why. She says there's the boat, and Matt's been helping Johnny fight these dogs with like a baseball bat. He's been beating the shit out of these dogs. And then Matt says, We're never getting off this island. And I was like, why not? And for a moment, they start fighting? Yeah, like why were you fighting the dogs if you didn't want to get off the island? And then Michelle Rodriguez runs over like seven dogs. She sure does. Matt also said earlier, dogs can't plan. And I just went, What? What do you mean? Dogs can't plan. There's no rules that say they can't.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:45

So yeah, they get in the boat from the couple from the beginning, and then Mallie, can you tell us what happens at the end of the breed?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:52

Dog breed. Yeah, a dog just jumps out, and that's the fucking end. There's not really anything to explain. They're on the boat, and one of them's like, I'm gonna go take a shit. They open the door and a dog leaps. They're like floating away, and one of them's like, I can't wait to find a doctor who can cure super rabies. And that's like basically what happens. I'm telling you, dude, that hero dog should have came out and ripped Johnny to fucking pieces because this dude needs to go down for all the dog murder he's been doing across the movie. Yeah. It's the one flaw of this film. The hero dog should have killed Johnny, then turned to Michelle Rodriguez and said, Get out next.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:28

JT Keith's rewinding fucking Michelle Rodriguez rhyming over these dogs. No, I don't. I haven't touched it. This is like the third time I've seen this clip, dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:37

I haven't touched the mouse. Well, we got a ghost dog. JT, I just have one thing to say to that. Dustin, you love dog death. I do love dog death. You're right. It's your favorite. Oh yeah, we didn't even talk about this. Like, this feels like full circle after The Last of Us 2 streams, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:58

Also, let's look it up. I'm just curious. Let's look up does the dogdy.com for the breed. The breed.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:04

Uh, I think that's gonna be a screaming fuck yeah. Let's see. Does a dog die? The wild pack of dogs gets killed. Only five yeses. In self-defense, but I feel like it may bother people. Were animals hardened in the making? One person said yes. Does a cat die? No. Is there dog lightning? Oh, fighting. Is there dog lightning? That's what I thought it said. That would have been a pretty great reveal is if a cat showed up and saved the day. Oh my god, that would have been fucking incredible. Do you think there's a does the cat die.com? Oh, oh no. Uh-oh. This connection is not private. I can't go to does the cat die.com. Uh-oh. You know what? Let me get out. Let me get the fuck out of here. Better click back to safety. So here's the thing. We don't even really get to see what happens after you get bitten, other than you get a little hungrier. You kind of turn into an asshole. Yeah, all this movie's telling me is that they're gonna be just fine. Yeah. Like just throw the dog in the water, I guess. I struggle to even call that a jump scare. Yeah, I agree. The credits roll over a curtain call with everybody's faces from the movie. Remember all these fun times we had with Eric Lively? The players. The show rotten. The players. The jaded three. The wolf pack. And there's just a shot of Zach Gallifinakis in there, too. Alright, boys. Any final notes on the breed? Nope. Nathan is chugging a four local, it looks like. Damn, brother. No, no, no, no. It's a beer.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:32

You've become a scumbag with this shirt and mustache. Are you also becoming one with this tree? Yeah, Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:37

And it has a bear on it, which I look like right now. I'll tell you that, motherfucker. Daddy's a little monster indeed. Jesus Christ. That's my final form. I don't know what to tell you. Alright, well, let's get over to Prop Cop. Can't spell the breed without a beard. God damn it.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:00

So Prop Cop is where we're each gonna pick one prop from the movie The Breed. Mall gets starts Tibbs since this is his pick.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:11

Mallie, what prop do you want most from The Breed? All of the dogs. All the dogs. It's a good prop. They're all good boys. Yeah, yeah. Uh, Nathan, how about you? It looked like it was overwhelmingly reds, but I would like the rack of vintage wines from the basement. Sure, sure. They drank all the clean bottles if you didn't notice. Yeah, the rest of them were dusty as hell. That's true. JT, what about you? I'll take the CB. Oh, yeah. C B. The C B plane. JT C B. I just want Johnny's archery set. I don't want to kill dogs with it, but I wouldn't mind having a bow and some arrows. Bullshit. Bullshit, Dustin.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:49

I like dogs. Your profile picture on Discord is my dog.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:54

It is the funniest time that JT has had that profile picture for this movie.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:02

Holy shit. Alright, what about BitParted? This cube is submitted from Jordan.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:07

Mista!

unknown 1:05:08

Mista!

SPEAKER_05 1:05:09

Get this off of me! Mista!

SPEAKER_02 1:05:12

Wait, what is that from?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:13

That's from Happy Gilboards when the air conditioner falls out on that one.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:17

Gotcha. Can I go first, please? Sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:20

I also just want to say that Bit part is a woman in this movie with the dogs are on top of her.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:24

Please get it off of me. Mista! DC, could she pull up the movie and please go to 49 minutes and 26 seconds?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:31

49, 22.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:32

You got it, brother. Gosh, I hope we didn't pick the same thing. I guarantee we did. It's the it's a pretty obvious one. Let's see. So Michelle Rodriguez is in the barn trying to get in the car. Little more forward. Okay. Wait till she's up on the roof. Keep going. Place somewhere. There's like a crew member that you just see out of frame or something. Keep going. Oh no. Is it really? Yeah. It's the most blatant member of a crew I've ever seen at a fucking movie. Oh boy. It's when she. She's pulling up the rope. Okay. I'm excited. Right there. Oh, just two dudes standing right behind her. They're just chilling behind her. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:10

Whoa. Okay. Well, look, I did not have a bit part, so can I be the other guy that's standing there?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:17

Yeah, you can be the other dude. Wait, isn't that not them? Is that not the other characters? No, that is her. Nobody has boots like that, dude. Oh, you're right. Well, no, Taryn Manning's wearing those shoes in the movie, but it's like they got the roofs mixed up. Is that supposed to be her? I'm pretty sure. That looks like the same jacket. I don't know. I don't know, but either way, watch it. Right. I like that. I like it. Nathan, who do you pick? At one point, Noah goes down to turn on the fuse box and there's a puppet hanging in the basement as a jump scare. I want to be that little puppet. Creepy ass fucking puppet. What is that puppet? Why is that puppet here? There's like a whole theater set up there. Like, I hate to say this, but the uncle did puppet shows in the basement. Like, this is some dark shit right here. But my question is, why the puppet? What what does the puppet have to do with anything in this movie? Why not? Spooky. Oh, okay. Maybe the puppet was behind it all along. He looks like fucking Heihachi from Tekken. Looks like Statler and Waldorf like mixed together. Mixed together, yeah. Looks like Nathan in a few years. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:26

JT, who are you picking?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:28

Okay, so I don't know if this counts, but this is the best I can do. Okay. This movie's it's filled with German Shepherds and the Belgian something somethings. Uh-huh. There is a single Rottweiler, and if that's not a bit part, I don't know what is.

unknown 1:07:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:42

He got hired for one scene. Some fascinating old school racism, Belgian something somethings.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:51

God, these dogs get blown the fuck up as soon as I'm gonna do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:54

And they're just chilling. They don't care. Dude, their reaction shot of like so fucking funny. Oh, look at that! Look at that! He's like, hey, can I be in the movie? He survives. That is a crew member's dog. Yep. That's a good boy.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:07

They're like, get the fuck out of here.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:11

God damn it. There you go, Dustin. You gotta watch it again. Jesus Christ, stop showing me that.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:19

What is our silver lining for 2006's The Breed?

SPEAKER_02 1:08:26

Nathan, let's start with you. What do you got? Oh God. Um I had a hard time with this one, but uh Noah got to die early before dealing with all the other shit. Like he didn't even have like uh a moment of like, yeah, I made it before dying. Sure. Uh JT, what about you? All dogs go to heaven.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:48

Wow. Good. Okay, let me go ahead and ask this now. Did anyone use that as a pick-me-up? Did anybody go for it? No.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:54

Okay, I I thought someone would, but I'm so glad someone brought it up. I do love that movie though. Mallie, what about you? What's your silver lighting? Puppy lived. Puppy lived. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:03

Yeah. I wrote down that since I have zero evidence to support the idea that a bite from one of these dogs is fatal, I guess Johnny and Matt are gonna be fine.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:12

Yeah. Well, they got attacked at the end, so who knows? Well, okay, if we want to go with that, then I will say then those dogs at least got to have some tasty snacks in the form of Noah and Sarah. The other dog. I mean, the dog at the end now owns a boat.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:24

Oh my god, dog got a boat. Like that. Well, let's say this. Let's say you are so fucking scared and terrified of the breeze that you need a movie to watch. Tiva things out. What is a movie people should watch as a double feature, aka Our Pick-Me Ups?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:43

I'm gonna go with uh another movie about furry beasts trying to break into a building, and I'm gonna go with Werewolves Within. That's a fun movie. That's a fun movie, yeah, yeah. I love that movie. Mattley, what about you? What are you gonna watch? Oh, I'm gonna go with another movie about a group of rascals fighting a dog. Uh-huh. And I will go with The Sandlot. Yeah. Hell yeah. Nathan? I went with another movie about an exceptional dog on an island. Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island. Hell yeah. My favorite quote. Hell yeah. JJ, what about you? Ace Venture of the Chocolate. Oh, all right. Either one. I'm surprised none of us went with Isle of Dogs. I thought about it. Man, that's right there. Alternate title for this movie. God. Or Airbud. Or airbud. There's nothing in the rules that says a dog can't have super rabies. Do you guys have any contrary opinions to the fact that Sarah is the best kill of the movie? No. Nah. She's the best, right? Yes. Okay. Or the dog's exploding. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:56

That's a good one. That's a good one. Lastly, boys, do you recommend 2006's The Breed?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:03

I definitely don't. There's there's moments that made me laugh really hard. And in fact, there's a YouTube video called All the Dog Kills in the Breed or something like that. Just watch that instead. There you go, Dustin. Watch the clip of Michelle Rodriguez getting shot in the leg. That's right. God damn it. Yeah, I think like this is so close to being one of those movies where like it's great as a group watch, but there is so much downtime, especially early on. I don't know if I could recommend it for that reason alone. I do think, yeah, like Mally said, just look up the shot of her getting shot in the leg. Look at the backdraft shot of the dogs. Like that's just great, but everything else is so dull. They're just kind of fucking around until the movie stops. Yep. Yep. Yep. And even then, I wouldn't call this ending an ending. Yeah. And I wouldn't call this movie a movie. I wouldn't either. That too. I do have to tell you, I might be watching the sequel tonight, though. I'm not interested now. Uh all right. Any any final words, boys, on the breed? Absolutely the fuck not. All right. Well, if you haven't already, please subscribe, rate, and leave feedback wherever you're listening to us right now. Follow us on social media where pretty much everywhere that isn't overrun by Nazis. Even then, we might have to start reevaluating some of these other ones. Sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:13

But you can check out our website, tslppodcast.com.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:16

You can submit a bit part if you want using the contact us form on our website, or you can email us at several linings playlist at gmail.com. Join the free Discord if you haven't already. Lots of fun stuff happening there. Buy some merch. Get all those links and more on our website, as I mentioned. And if you want bonus episodes, if you want to get these episodes released early, join the Patreon at patreon.com slash civil lining's playlist, where this week on the program, Nathan, you and I are wrapping up the Vaguiety Hour by talking about Friendendo Power, our episode all about video games. You know, I I never feel shame until Mally hears what our show's called. And I will say that uh the diamond lining tier members of the Patreon are getting a commentary this coming August. So you want to be a member of that to get it. Lucky Ducks. I'm surprised you idiots didn't call it like a commentary or something, fucking morons.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:09

But if you uh want that, you gotta join.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:11

We're not gonna tell you what it is, but you'll see it when it drops. And I think if you've been paying attention if you want that, you gotta beg. I think if uh you've been paying attention, you could probably guess what it is, but uh I kind of want to call it a commentary. So, next pick, Nathan, is your movie that you've selected. So, what are we talking about in two weeks? You know, kind of a plain movie, just ordinary. Oh my god, we're doing World Trade Center. Jesus Christ. I was gonna say we're gonna be talking about CBs again. Yeah, there you go. Hell yeah. Sounds interesting. Can't wait to talk about a plain movie. Okay. Just ordinary. I feel like that's gonna confuse the people. We're not talking about flight next week or two weeks from now, whatever. P-L-A-I-N. There you go. There you go.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:56

All right, well, recipes, oatmeal, and I guess all the fucking dogs that were killed making the breed. And as always, it's Margarita 30.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:05

Hey! Hey! I once saw a dog balance a marshmallow on its nose. Good. I like that it's basically like those little hit clips in the mid seconds and it's like