Episode 223: The Roses (with David Arnold of Fear Coded)

1989’s The War of the Roses is undeniably a classic. The 2025 remake The Roses, however, is probably not destined for the same fate. Even though the cast shines, the story is lacking a lot of the…well, war of the Roses. It’s worth exactly one watch (preferably on a plane) and not much more. That being said, our episode certainly isn’t a drag, so sign a commitment (not a contract) to listen along as we discuss the film. Topics of discussion also include Mallie’s new fashion accessory, great bleed out spots, celebrity cookbooks, and cucking lemons. All of that and more with special guest David Arnold of the queer horror podcast Fear Coded.

You can check out Fear Coded here. You can also check out the Glitterjaw Queer Podcast Collective here.

The Roses stars Benedict Cumberbatch, Olivia Colman, Andy Samberg, Kate McKinnon, and Allison Janney. Directed by Jay Roach.

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Transcript

0:27

I'm Dustin Goes to Hollywood, and chronic yeast infections are not an autoimmune disorder. I'm Nathan Simmons, and I'm gonna need bigger shorts. I fucking love my wife's and this is the silver linings playlist, a podcast that tries to find the silver lining in wearing a puffer vest over a flannel shirt. Boy, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. And also apparently cucking lemons. Hey, hey, you know what? If the shoe fits, you gotta cuck those lemons. Every single lemon in this movie gets fucked right next to it. It's true. Every single one. Oh boy. Okay, well, let's get right into this, boys, because we are talking about the roses today, a movie that came out last year. If you didn't know, this is a remake of War of the Roses, and we have a special guest joining us. He is one of the hosts of Fear Coded, a horror movie review podcast on the Glitter Jaw Queer Podcast Collective. Please let me introduce our guest for this evening, Mr. David Arnold. Woo! Hey, I showed up with a rucksack full of coke and a sword, if that's okay. Absolutely. Hell yeah, brother. You're gonna fit right in. Yeah, yeah. You know the deal. Great. Okay, just making sure, making sure. I didn't want to violate any codes going on here. Absolutely. Just a pocket full of lemons. Welcome, David. Thank you for coming on. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. Big fan of the show. Delighted to talk about this film with you all. Why? I know, I know, I know. I know. That's a really good question. So just for the meta context here, this will be, I believe, our first episode of Pride of the month of June. So it is interesting because I reached out on Reddit. I said, I'm looking for because I've I've noticed the trend of our podcast being a lot of uh white dudes talking, but like mostly straight dudes talking too. So I'm like, we gotta mix it up. Let's get some women in here, let's get some people with different perspectives. One third of the hosts excluded. Yes, exactly. I thought let's get some more people in here. And you were gracious enough to reach out and say, Hey, I I host a uh a queer podcast. I can come on. And I was like, great, but come on this movie where we're talking about a straight couple and all their fucking problem shirts. Yeah, I don't know. It's better than Covermatch and Olivia Coleman, so they're like a little gay on specs. Oh, a thousand percent. And then on top of that, I I told the guys off mic, I need I can talk for conservatively four hours about what movie Kate McKinnon thinks she's in. Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And why she keeps being cast as the like horn dog straight girl in these movies. Like this hat this keeps happening to her, and why hasn't she gotten the bug nuts lesbian rom-com that she deserves? Well, semi-related. Something about Andy Sandberg with a beard. Working for me. Yeah, it should. It's looking good. It's working for me. Because he's never looked more like a lesbian. That's real. What makes it work with McKinnon? Somehow it makes sense. Hotter rod, if you will. Would it be would it be better if instead of Kate McKinnon this entire movie hitting on Minnedic Comer back, she's hitting on Olivia Coleman? Does that give us plus one star? She kind of does. She's playing the field. She's horny for these roses, and who amongst us isn't? Yeah, she's keeping options open, you know. Hell yeah. And so I just also want to clear the air because people may be listening, they're like, oh guys, you got David Arnold, the famous composer from like the Jade Spawn movies and everything. I just want to put a stop to that Google. One in the same. I am now ungooglable, but I I I'm married into this name, if you can believe it. This is my husband's name when we got married. Wow. I wanted to go up in the alphabet, like anyone would. Oh, don't worry, our podcast is ungoogleable. So we didn't really think too much about SEO when we started. No, absolutely. This is a perfect fit, then. This is a perfect fit. You know what? If you've never listened to a James Bond score, uh yeah, I'm David Arnold. Let's go. There you go. I love that new song you did with Lana Del Rey. Great work. We're besties. Before we get too far into the show, David, can you give uh people who may not be familiar with your show just the quick log line of what the Fear Coded is all about? Yeah, so Fear Coded is a podcast that my friends Marilee Tyler and I do where we look at a piece of media uh from the horror landscape and we talk about how gay it is from pretty much start to finish. Um, but we'll do everything. So TV, film, theater, books, video games, uh really nothing's off limits. And so it gives us a chance to really go beyond some of the other horror podcasts that uh have like covered Friday the 13th a hundred million times. Now we did cover it because that sweater that she wears is really gay. My wife and I are obsessed with that sweater. It's a perfect, it's a perfect sweater. Uh-huh. All right. Well, that's great. I I I listened to your your poltergeist episode recently. And we would you start off talking about your your oppressive art collection. I'm like, oh, he's he's gonna be real disappointed when he comes on here and he's just surrounded by a bunch of dirt bags. You're just the type of dirt bags that I go for. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. So if you're new to the show, the whole reason this podcast exists is we like to watch movies that don't have happily ever after endings, movies that end on cliffhangers or on jump scares, or in this case, not so ambiguous endings. I think we could all pretty much agree uh the rapture happens right here at the very end of the movie. Oh yeah, that's absolutely this is a prequel to the leftovers, actually. Wow, wow. No, no. Uh we watch movies like that and we come up with something positive to say for either the characters or the audience by the time the credits roll, that's not leaving the audience in such a downer after the credits roll. And this is Mally's second pick that ends with a self-immolation season. Well, yeah, I'm trying to tell y'all something. Okay. Mally, my first job out of school was working at the burn unit in the uh Dallas Hospital Parkland. Oh shit. Is this something we need to talk about? So, like people would just come in, you just roast the fuck out of them. We burned them. Yes, that's that's how it works. They come in and he's like, boy. Really? Those genes. Okay, so if you're not familiar with the roses, which I don't blame you if you're not, because we talked about this off air. I saw virtually zero marketing for this movie. It was all directed at me, apparently. Fuck. Yeah, apparently it all funneled into whatever movie theater you were going to. But this movie asks the age-old question what if there were some roses? Jesus. And it dares answer it. We find out. You're you've been real low effort on those the past few weeks. What do you want me to do with this title? What do you want me to do? I'm very excited for next week's movie. Yeah, that's gonna be an interesting one. And I just want to say before we get into the info dump about uh who stars in this movie and all that good stuff, I just want to say right off the top, I disliked Theo and not my pet rabbit that's sitting right here, but Theo as a Benedict Cumber badged so much in this fucking movie that I had to pull a very specific sound bite every time he did something that I just absolutely hated. And I think you'll appreciate this, Nathan. Dump him, girl. Dump him girl. Please. Uh Ivy, are you still married to that bad guy? He's a bad guy. I mean, I totally agree, but as someone who's married to a bad guy, consider for a second that like the coconut, not not just inertia, but there's like love, I guess. But also, I think that there really is an antagonistic relationship that works for some couples. Yeah. Sure. And I think Ivy and Theo are supposed to have it, but boy, howdy, anytime we're in Theo's POV, I am also like, what are we doing? Well, it it's so weird, and I'm I'm I know I'm jumping ahead, but like so much of this movie is either Benedict Cumberbatch being an asshole, Olivia Coleman going from being a weak mom to a bad mom. Yeah. Yes. And then with 10 minutes left of the movie, they're like, oh fuck, we're remaking War of the Roses. We should have them try to murder each other. Yeah. Like the pacing is so weird that I'm just like, I just spent two hours with a bad hang. Yes. Now you know how I feel after every fucking episode recording. I get it. Yeah. Here's here's my problem. Theo like just wants to complain because like when we finally we're supposed to be like, at least the movie's trying to tell us, like, oh, you should feel bad for him. He's being the stay-at-home dad. And he like, no, it looks great. It looks like he's just being a little baby about this. He's thriving. He should be thriving. That's the life I fucking want. Right? Oh my god. Stay-at-home dad. Oh my god, my garden would be insane. I mean, why don't you just be a like kept household? 1000%. My wife just got a job where she's getting paid more than me, and I'm like, this is the best thing that's ever happened. Hell yeah. Fuck it down. Absolutely. All right. Well, again, if you're not too familiar with the roses, let's do a little bit of backstory on it and let's get into the info dump. So, as I mentioned, the year is last year 2025. The director is Jay Roach, who you may know as the director of all three Austin Powers movies. Plus, he was the writer-director of Meet the Parents, Meet the Falkers, Dennifer Schmucks, and Bombshell. Did he direct Hitchhiker's Guide also? Or did I make that up? I think he did. Well, let's look it up. JT, do something. It stars Benedict Gumberpatch as Theo, Olivia Coleman as Ivy, Andy Sandberg as Barry. Did he? Kate McKinnon as Amy. Did you say Gumberpatch? Did I say Gumberpatch? Gumberbatch. That sounds like a lot more enticing actor, if I gotta say. Benedict Sour Patch Kids. Back it up, Thundercats. And a third act sort of reveal of Alice and Janny as Eleanor. Boy, that was fun. Wild. Wild. I want someone to take like the sound of the audience reacting to Captain America lifting Mjolnir and just put it over the smash cut to Alice and Janny. Dude, that was me in the theater when Richard Kine shows up at the end of Bo is Afraid. I was I stood up and applauded. That was that was me when Bob Odenkirk showed up in Little Women's, so I get it. Uh by the way, in confirmation, he had nothing to do with Hitchhiker's Guide, as far as I can tell. All right. Nathan, you fucking idiot. The budget for this movie was $35 million, and it managed to grow $52 million worldwide and currently sits at a 64% on Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah, that's about right. Also, written by Tony McNamara, which kind of blew my the the screenwriter of Poor Things. Yes. Why? How? Why? And the favorite? Hell yeah. So we're gonna get into the trailer here because I've never seen this trailer. But before we do that, I did want to bring back so many times. I did want to bring back Mally's skin is itching a segment that I used to do on the show, and I felt like it was appropriate for this movie. I'm gonna bring back the drink of the film. It's a Negroni, right? It's a Negroni. I don't know if you guys noticed, but there's a lot of Negrotis in this movie. So we're gonna make a Negroti here. I've actually never had one. Oh, I thought it was just gonna be the water from a can of tuna. Oh god. No, I I hate that. I don't like that at all. Really? I got nothing to add to that. I just really didn't like it. Says the man who live on air ate a can of beans. Oh god, you sure did. It was the Brokeback Mountain episode. What am I supposed to do? Not cosplay. Beans are delicious, also. Yeah. What's your problem? Not these. Oh. Beans are delicious, but beanie weaties in a can, maybe not. He did not have a good time. Wow. And yes, I did slurp the bean juice. Yes, he did. Wow. Yeah, if you've never listened to our Brookback Mountain episode, maybe don't bother. All right. So you're gonna make a Negroni on air, you said? Yeah, I'm gonna make one while we watch this trailer. Beautiful. You know what? I'm just now realizing I don't have a glass, but that's okay. I'll be right back and then we'll keep going. Jesus fucking Christ. Pour it right into your mouth. He just gargles it. He just makes it in his mouth. Yeah. Makes it up in there. Oh boy. Yeah, so Tony McNamara wrote Poor Things and the Favorite, but he also wrote Cruella, which tells me. He likes to have fun. Yorgos took a pass on those other scripts. Wait, hang on. Cruella directed by Yorgos now? No, it was directed by. No, I'm saying I would watch that. Oh, I would as well. Yes. Maybe. My bad husband put that on once. And so that's just more evidence of his sins. So it I'm sorry. Every time you say bad husband, I think about Dustin. Have we talked about the bad Cinderella reveal and how that video just like lives in my brain? No. What? What? When when Andrew Lloyd Weber announced bad Cinderella and they just a poster that just says Cinderella and then they graffitied bad over it, and it's like, hell yeah. Yep. God, I forgot all about that. What a strange memory of evoked. The theater version of James Cameron just adding the S to the end of the alien poster. Yep. Man, I gotta get on that internet. I'm late on everything. Oh man. You'd love it. There's some good stuff on there. Hell yeah. Counterpoint, there's some other things too. Real bad stuff too. Yeah, there's some real horrible things. They got a lot of other stuff too. Alright, boys, glasses obtained, so let's get into the trail. Great. What kind of glasses is just a regular glass. I couldn't find my rock glasses. I'm sorry. I'm fucking all kinds of up today. What? I can't stand the taste of Aperol. So I just that you're on your own, man. You do I do anything. It really is. I fucking love Olivia Coleman. This movie does that thing where I'm like, they're shooting outside and they still look like they're on a green screen. Yeah. Oh, just because they were. Yeah. They were never outside during the making of those movies. This is like the least North California that the United Kingdom has ever looked, right? Absolutely. Yeah. If you need a shoulder. This is my favorite line delivery in the movie. Crazy. We got the red band, baby. Let's go. Ivy likes to see a little bit of herself in everything she does. Every time that dude pops up, I'm like, oh, it's the anal guy from Fleabag. His sister is uh Nadia from What We Do in the Shadows. Yep. Wait, what? Yeah. Every time I see him, that's the first thing I think of. Yeah. Wait, really? Yeah. Oh, what a family. He has my favorite line in Barbie where he has the thing about uh a chorus of 20 unwed fathers or something like that. You are the bottom of the paint on me. It's just making me mad at the end. Yeah, the trailer makes you think there's gonna be a little bit more of this like sabotage and murder. Yeah, it's pretty much the entire end of the film here in the trailer. Yeah. He should go to jail for like nine of the things he does before he tries to murder her. Absolutely. Things are getting a little out of hand. Like you he literally poisons a restaurant full of people and it's played as like Theo. What a scam! You actually allowed it to say that? Yeah, it's like malpractice. Yeah, yeah. They are both so charming, despite what this movie is. Like it that that was the thing that kept hitting me was I don't know that I'm particularly enjoying this movie, but God, is it watchable? Yes. Yep. If I was on a plane, I would love this. Like this is a perfect plane movie. Oh my god, this is a great plane movie. Oh yeah, great plane film. You order two Negronies and you have a good time. I was on a plane the day before yesterday, and I love I love seeing like the movies that other people pick. Like the dude next to me was ripping black phone too. I was like, hell yes, I'll have a choice. Wow. The dude directly in front of me was just raw dogging weathering heights. Oh man. I'm like, what are we doing? No, Mally's brought up what I used to love to do when I traveled for work, which was watch other people's films. Yes. It's so fun. While I worked on a PowerPoint and I like I cried at How to Train Your Dragon 3. It played on someone else's seatback two rows ahead of me. Yeah. Because those dragons just wanted to fly. They sure did. You should ask them like, can you back it up? I missed a seatbelt. Before we recorded our begonia episode, I found out that my mom had watched it on a flight to visit my sister. Oh man. Hell yeah. Why? It's just so not a Deborah Simmons movie to watch. And not only did she watch it, she watched the first half on a flight to Tampa and then watched the second half on the flight home a week later. Oh wow. Like she was like, I gotta find out what happens to Emma Stone. And she loved it. I mean, I feel like the big reveal here, I didn't know you had a mom. Yeah. No, he's not immaculately conceived, Mally. I know my whole deal would have you think otherwise. I think even with Immaculate Conception, you still need a mom, though. Absolutely correct. Absolutely. It's the dad you could do without. Yeah. Even Anakin Skywalker had a mom. Before we get into the actual movie, Melly, I did want to ask because I forgot to. Was there any reason in particular why you wanted to discuss this movie right now? Or is it just something you saw and you're like, that'd be fun to talk about? Yeah. Okay. I mean, I got plenty to say. Don't worry. I got pages. They're mostly all just why Theo sucks, but we'll get into it when we get into it. For me, it was just these two actors, right? Like seeing seeing these two in a movie together, I just kind of it's an easy buy-in for me. Well, yeah, I was it was mainly I was like, like Olivia Coleman is that bitch. And so I was like, just let's talk about her. There you go. Plus, I got a cunty little earring now. So I was like, let's fucking get sassy with it. Wait, hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. This is news. This is huge news. I need a photo immediately. Wow. Cunty little earring. Glad to be here for this moment. This is so exciting. This is so exciting for me. Well, in my defense, I told Nathan I watched Hamnet the other day. Oh, right. Yes, that's true. So. And it comes with that free visit to Claire's. I forgot all the back. It's like when you know when you used to go to like Burger King, they're like, get a happy meal or kid's meal or whatever, you'll get a free ticket to the Pokemon movie. I was like live texting Nathan while I was watching Hamnet. It's like, yo, wait, hang on. Did Shakespeare have a cunty little earring? Girl, I didn't notice that he had that earring until like almost the end of the movie. And it was like, it was like watching, it was like it was like watching Guardians of the Galaxy and being like, oh look, there's the cocoon in the background. Like it was like an exciting moment realizing Shakespeare had an earring. I watched the Wolverine and like in the third act was like, holy shit, Hugh Jackman's in this. Yeah, very exciting. Yeah. So now wait, were any of you like fans of The War of the Roses? It's a great question. I love The War of the Roses. Yeah. Danny DeVito might low-key be one of the best unsung directors of all time. It's a well-directed film. I think I don't think he's ever made a movie that I don't love. Yeah. And he yeah, that that movie is spectacular. It was one of the films on VHS that my father had right after he got divorced. And so we watched it a lot, which I don't know, probably is why I'm queer. Oh. I think he really first had a thing for Kathleen Turner because like he had eyes. Sure. And also was like, all women are bitches, and I'm, you know, I'm Michael Douglas. Sure. You know, that's kind of what I went into this film expecting was uh an updated War of the Roses, which I thought tricky to do since that is a film about domestic violence. Absolutely. And well, and that's one of the movies that uses Michael Douglas correctly, in my opinion, because I we've talked about him on this show. I don't trust that rat fuck. I don't any time that he's in a movie, I'm just like, get away from her. Okay. I was gonna bring this up because I was gonna say I've never seen the original, but that's only because I can only take hits so much Michael Douglas at one time and I see basic instinct. I was like, you know what? I need to like taper off for a couple of years before I go back. And I did Black Rain recently, too. And I was like, you know what? I need a little bit more time before I get further back into his filmography. Yeah. Oh man, that movie again, a very great use of like icky, sleeky Michael Douglas. Yeah, he's grody. He's really growing. Yeah, he sure is. He sure the fuck is. Uh, speaking of grody, let's talk about Theo and Ivy as a couple attending marriage counseling at the beginning of this movie, where instead of telling one another things that they like about each other, like the therapist asks them to, they just start lobbing in. At one another. And man, I I was like, okay, I'm in for this as soon as she goes, Theo, what a cunt. And he just starts laughing. Yeah. I'm like, all right. I'm a big fan of when they're trying to come up with compliments, and she says he has arms. Yeah, that's a good one. She watched that documentary of a man with no arms. It looked really sad. Absolutely. I like that she adds especially for the spouse. Especially for the partner. I like when he says, I'd I'd rather, you know, live with her than a wolf. That's pretty good. Yeah. This is what Benedict Cumberbatch does the best, I think, is the sort of like aloof but also very targeted, acidic wit. Like there's moments, especially in this opening scene where he's just talking shit about his boss in front of his boss, where he's just doing a bit of Sherlock on this. Like it's it's diet Sherlock. Oh, I love it. And I like it too. Yeah. Because it tells you how accrid he just is. Yes and he needs someone who can meet him there. This guy's fucking rotten. Yeah, but Ivy's is she's rotten too. They're like that's what makes them work together, is they both are sort of the worst. Yes. Well, my whole thing is like, first of all, this is a shitty therapist because she gives up immediately with these two are all. But also, like, if I'm married to Olivia Coleman, I don't get to complain about anything. You're married to you're married to Olivia Coleman. Gotta get rid of Priscilla. She's the best. She's the best. How could you be like, look at look at the eyes that she's got? How can you ever be mad at her? You can be mad at her when she behaves the way Ivy behaves in this movie. But like within moments of meeting her, she just babybirds you raw fish. I mean, what's not to love? And then fucks you in the back of a freezer. Yeah. Sushi and sex are like my hierarchy of needs, right there. Yeah. Right in front of the lemons. Poor lemons. God, I I did not notice these lemons, but now I'm going to be paying very close attention. Dude, no, the lemons get cucked constantly. Beautiful. It's like the Starbucks cup in the Fight Club movie, you know, they're just in every scene. You just gotta look for them. Yeah. Look for the lemons. I do think she looks particularly hot in this flashback. Yes. I did shout wig at the film, but yeah. Very wiggy. Oh, yeah. But she looks hot. She looks really hot. But she looks great. I like that they did absolutely nothing to him in the flashback. No. I just don't know what is going on with walk-in freezers in this movie, as if they're like the place to be fucking, because it sounds like a bad time to me. Yeah. Um, no, it's hot, Dustin. Yeah. It's actually not hot. I would argue it's cold. That's the problem that I have. Yeah. Well, after you fuck, you know, you do it in a cold place, then you can go back to work. You're not all gross and sweaty. That's true. You know what? I didn't think about that. That's a good point. It's called practicality, jackass. That's a good point. I take your point. I didn't think about any of this because I was just distracted by like, you can't just go back to the kitchen if you don't feel like being around the people at your table. Yeah. Like, what are you doing? I guess if you got enough uh zeros in your bank account, maybe you can. I don't know. Or if you look like Benedict Cumberbatch, maybe. I don't know. Well, yeah, and that's the other thing is this movie is Rich People Problems, the motion picture. Genuinely. Also, I love opening title sequences. Like we god, we used to have such whimsy. Especially the animated ones. It's a lost art. I agree. I was I was delighted by this. This is incredible. I don't think it's telling the story that maybe the animation thinks that it is that I don't know. No, listen, I'm not saying it is a good one. I'm just saying I like that there is one. You appreciate the effort. I love the idea of it. I was waiting for Nancy Myers' name to show up on the screen because it felt like 90s coded. Yes. I do have to agree with Theo, though. I think the idea of having an apartment without a balcony is fucking stupid. Sure. Unless you're on the first floor, that's a fucking dumb idea. That's true. That's true. But these are two people who both go about their days acting like they are the protagonist of reality. Oh, they got main character syndrome. They talk the way that they have main character syndrome. It's so wild. Also wild, this child throws up in a bowl and they're just like, that's fine. Yeah. Just leave it on the table. So we should we should describe if people haven't seen the movie. So yeah, we get a flashback after this opening scene of them at marriage counseling where they first met in a restaurant and they immediately hook up because uh Olivia Coleman is working as a chef in the restaurant that he's having his business dinner at, and then we jump cut 10 years later. They've got two kids, they're living in California. He's an architect, and she's just a stay-at-home mom, but she also wants to be, you know, going back to working in the kitchen. He's designing the ugliest fucking building I've ever seen. He sure is. An architect is such a movie job. It's always such a movie job. Genuinely. It's a throwback. Yeah. It's a throwback to like in the 90s. William Peterson and fear. I mean, hey, listen, I've never met an architect. I'm not convinced they exist. No. I think buildings just happen. Has anybody have we started that rumor on 4chan yet? Yeah, they're immaculately conceived. And then yeah, we also get introduced to Chekhov's EpiPen because we find out Olivia Coleman is allergic to raspberries. Not usually jammed into an arm, but sure. Sure. I I kind of like the idea of like her eating raspberries, also knowing that she's gonna need the epipen. Everyone's just like on board with it. Like I like that kind of daring nature to it. Because it also ties in well with like the very macabre relationship that these two have, where like they both like we didn't mention it, but like when they first introduced themselves, like he's talking about he wants to kill himself, and her first response to that is how would you do it? I'm like, okay, I I can get dialed with this. This is awesome. These are two siccos who found each other, and that's kind of nice. Yeah. Can I just say that? Uh oh yeah, JT's here. I forgot to mention. Yeah. Oh shit. Dude, my stepson has to have an epipin on. Oh, yeah. And those things are almost twelve hundred dollars. Oh, sure. Well, you understand if you were an architect, JT, you wouldn't be struggling with this. True. He designed the EpiPen factory, so they just give him like a lifetime supply. Oh, okay. I missed that. It's shaped like an EpiPen, too. That's just the the benefit of having him design your building. They do seem to go out of their way to never say the words EpiPen I did I didn't notice as a health guy. Yeah, yeah. Here's your magic cure for anaphylactic shock. Thank you. I think everyone understands. I think it does make sense in the plot, but it also felt kind of like interesting. It also works immediately, which I think is incredible. Oh, yeah. And it's also funny because we first see Olivia Coleman like making sushi, and then we cut forward 10 years later and she's like, My passion is baking. I do these crazy dry looking cakes. And then it turns out again her passion actually was seafood when she opens her own restaurant. Great call. I don't know. And they moved away from London where they literally hold a baking competition that is watched by millions of people. Stay there. Yeah. It's actually what London is known for nowadays. She could have gotten the Hollywood handshake. Yeah. Showstopper girl. Instead, she's getting a mendocino Mal content. I don't fucking know. So I do have to ask because we did Twilight last episode on the show. Would you rather eat at a restaurant called We've Got Crabs or the restaurant from Twilight, which I will remind you is called the Bloated Toad? Which would you rather eat at We've Got Crabs in a heartbeat? Yeah. Yeah, I think I agree. I live in the Florida panhandle. I've probably eaten here. Isn't that where we went the day after your wedding for breakfast? Yeah, we absolutely went to the We Got Crabs. It was 90 degrees out. I got grits. Choices were made. All of my notes are like this movie's written in a weird literary way. Like all of the dialogue is very like, I don't want your dreams to die on the crucifix of family life. Oh, brother. Remember when we got married and the patriarchy sent a note, and I'm like, these people are fucking insufferable. Uh-huh. See, most of my notes are about Doctor Who's outfits. Well, okay. Shutigawa is gorgeous. Thank you. Just to be clear, I'm not talking shit on his outfits. Oh, sure. No, they're perfect. Nathan, I'm sorry. Pronounce her name again because I I cannot pronounce that. Shutigawa. Shutigawa. Okay. There's this really funny interview with him where he says uh that he found out when he was like 21 years old that it's actually n shooty. Oh. Like it's like uh a very different pronunciation because his mom got on to him about it. Oh, okay. And he's like, I don't I don't know what to tell you. That's what I am in the press now. Okay. Yeah, it's too late, brother. It's too late. Not just that, but Sunita Manny, who's the other person working at We've Got Crabs, is also gorgeous. Oh, yeah. These are two of the hottest British actors working at this crab shack. Yes. You didn't need a review, you needed some like Instagram post. Right. Smoking. Yeah. You need some Gen Zer to come in here and make TikToks for you. What have I seen her in? Glow. She's so good on Glow. Oh, she was in Glow. She was on that Christmas movie with Will Farrell and Ryan Reynolds. Oh, sure. Did not see that. Spirited or whatever? Spirited. Spirited on Apple TV. Yeah, yeah. I feel like I saw her in something very like dramatic. Oh no. Hang on. I don't know about you guys. JT, don't worry. I'll Google it myself. I don't know about you guys. I think pretty much everybody in this movie is pretty hot. I'm not gonna lie. It's a great cast. I mean, these are all dependable actors. These are all like and I applaud them for jumping through the hoops of having them be English and then moving to America. Oh my god, she plays Trenton in Mr. Robot. That's right. Yes, that's what it is. But it's also like I've talked about this on the show. Benedict Cumberbatch's American accent is not my favorite thing in the world. So I was so glad that these two could just be English. Yeah, just be British. Just be British. Yeah. I agree with you, it's a great cast. It's maybe too many casts. Oh, I think I'm being honest. 100%. Too too many, four too many, six too many? It's too many. It's too many, but then also like they keep giving some characters multiple functions within the story. The fact that Sunita Mani's character goes from being a waitress to Olivia Coleman's business manager on screen, where she's like managing offshore accounts. It's it's wild. What the hell, guys? It's like, when did that happen? I mean, she deserves it. She's hot, yeah. Get that bag, but come on. I don't know about you guys, but I had a jump scare because I was like, ah, Andy Sandberg. And then right after that, I had another jump scare with ah, Kate McKinnon. Because I did not know they were in this movie, and I was very surprised by that reveal. God, the moment Sandberg shows up, I'll just God just rock hard at me. Ruined my desk. He doesn't look a day older than when he looked in Hot Rod. I don't know. This man just doesn't age. Man, I don't know. That who that salt and pepper is working. No, it looks great. I'm just saying he his face has not aged. I think he's slowly turning into Chris Parnell. And I don't know. Yeah. Okay. Upgrade in my mind. I actually kind of like hate the whole introduction of them at the gun show because it is so perfunctory to introduce this gun, which we need for like the 11th hour of this film. Sure. But I do like the poking fun at liberals who were like, yeah, I'm anti-gun, but it's beef, it's so fun to shoot them. Like confession time. This is literally me. I've said the literal words that have come out of both McKinnon and Samberg's mouth. Like, we owned a gun, but I owned a gun for the same reason people own a bowling ball. I don't want to use somebody else's when I go to the range. Oh no, I am staunchly like pro-gun legislation, anti-gun, but I'm like, but I also live in the fucking south of the game. No, it's really fun to shoot. It's like my penis. It's very fun. I like it when it goes off. It's so fun to shoot. It's so fun to shoot. It's really cool. See, I'm a knife guy. Dog, that is the least surprising thing you've ever said on this podcast. I gotta tell you, a little a little peek behind the curtains when we get to prop cop, I actually did write down I wouldn't mind having that gun because I even though I'm anti-gun, I do live in the south. That's a sexy gun. That's just the reality of the world we live in, apparently, nowadays. So you must be a fucking Republican. Yeah. See, I live in a country now where I can't even go to a gun range. So this is this is a better life for me. So Theo builds this building that's like, I think like a naval museum or something like that. It's a maritime museum, thank you. Okay. Looks like shit. Ugliest fucking building I've ever seen. It's really impressive, though, because it's the first building that's being rendered in CGI in real time by the people that are in front of it. I know. I know. They got this thing from the volume, I guess. I don't know what happened here, but the CG doesn't look good. Grogu's in there. Yes. How many puffer vests does he own? Not enough. So they have this restaurant that they open for Ivy, this the seafood restaurant. And when the storm comes in, all the people from the highway get funneled off the highway into her restaurant, which doesn't typically do a lot of business. So she's like thriving, and she finds out that there's a food critic that comes, and at the same time, Theo's building collapses while he sits there and has a public meltdown that's of course filmed for TikTok. It seems odd that they would file them closer to the water, right? That's a good point. That's a great point. So this building collapses like in a final destination kind of way. Yeah, it does. I don't know what happened here. It was a big laugh in the household. I'm not gonna lie. The collapse, the like slight delay of the roof just totally came in to get us to howl. Yes. You're telling me there was no security guard in there that is fucking dead now. I know. You got fucking pancaked. Oh, people died. People died in this. Come on. Absolutely. I mean, some would call this Northern California's 9-11. Some would. Some have said, some have said. You know what? I've hear people saying a lot of people are saying so. There's also during this. I'm gonna come. She says she's so nervous. She's so nervous about this food critic showing up, and he's saying no review will hurt a place that only does 30 covers a week. And he's still like, he's like thereing her fucking dreams. Like, oh god. You paid to build this restaurant, you asshole. God damn, dude. I think it's funny though that it does work for her though. Like Ivy's kind of like, oh, you're right. Yeah. Because they're sort of morose, and that's their like way of showing love, I guess. Yeah. And it gives her the courage to to cook this thing. She goes up to the food critic, she says, the salt will make you come. Yep. Incredible. Great. Bald. She's also stoned as hell, which is very fun. I was gonna say, I like when she's pointing at stuff on the plate, she's like, eat that, and then eat that. Yeah, and then eat that, and then leave. And then leave. Yeah, eat and leave, please. Honestly, I love when a restaurant does that. Like, as much as I like being left alone, when I'm paying for a curated experience, if I'm doing like I love an omikaze deal, like tell me the order you want, tell me the sauce, tell me the the the specific liters that I need to trickle onto this, whatever. Yeah. Whatever makes this taste the best for my money, I will do it. Tell me. The only time I won't listen though is when I'm getting sushi. I was like, listen, just give I need a cup of soy sauce. Give me the plate and walk away. I was like, listen, I'm putting the sushi in the cup of soy sauce like it's fucking ice cubes. Yep, back the fuck off. I'm gonna be an absolute animal when you bring me my sushi and my soy sauce and wasabi. Fuck off. Just tell me this spicy tube is gonna make me come and leave me alone. So I'm hungry. While Ivy gets a great review for her cooking, it leads to an explosion in customers. Theo's reputation is ruined in the forms of memes and his boss firing him in the most unprofessional way, which I thought was so fucking funny. When he's like fucking kids in the car. When he's like, I'll bounce back, and his boss goes, Not with us, you won't. He says, Listen, some people would be suicidal in this circumstance. Are you with your kids right now? But Benedict Cumberbatch tries to let us know it's okay. He quotes Jinx monsoon and says it's water off a duck's back. Excellent. I love when his his daughter is like, uh, because he goes, I don't even care about that building. She goes, Is that why it fell down? Because you didn't care. And he goes, Of course not. I'll put my fucking lifeblood in it. I don't normally say this. Not enough of the kids in this movie. So those kids are genuinely very funny. They're funny. I mean, they're two little Terminators. Yeah, they're monsters. Yeah. They're like pissing outside, they're eating food off the counter. The younger kids to me are a little better than the teenage kids as far as acting capacity. I agree. I love the younger kids. I think they every line they get is hilarious. The older kids, they sort of are turned into robots. That's the whole point of the story. Yes. They turn into like village of the damned. It's very weird. Yeah. Yeah. They're a little less interesting to watch. I love when he just gets out of the car and just starts rolling around on the ground. The kids are like, is he gonna be all right? Oh, that's great. It's pretty great. Uh so yeah, Ivy decides, you know what, I gotta be the breadwinner. Yeah, you know, I'll take on more hours at the restaurant. You just be a stay-at-home dad, take care of the kids. And then I can't remember who says it specifically, but they say, we'll just do this thing for a little while. It's not forever. And I'm like, that is a death sentence in a relationship when it comes to finances. Yeah. Like, we'll just do this thing for a little while. It almost never turns out that way. It is forever. Finances, that's everything in a relationship. Oh, let's try this chair over here for a week. That chair will never move again. That's true. That's where that chair lives now. And uh yeah, we get uh another uh very cool sex scene in a walking freezer. Just all I think about is just all that food's contaminated now. That's all I think about. You just wasted all that product. God, look at that shirt. Oh, some because this is the same thing on Doctor Who. At some point, somebody realized Shooty looks incredible in orange. Like I feel like it's the first thing when he get arrives on a set. He's like, listen, babes, I need a burnt umba situation. I love when he's you know talking about all the money he made, waiting tables, and he's like, I'm gonna need bigger shorts, and he's wearing shorts. The shortest shorts I've ever seen. That line made me laugh. So those are DC shorts, absolutely. Those are some DC shorts. I believe the line is I feel like a stripper in a convention. Yeah. It's a good line. Yep. They argue about the kids, like how best to raise them. And what it comes down to is Olivia Coleman says, we just have different ways with them. And I'm like, so have conversations. Yeah. Talk to each other and then talk to your children. Where would the movie be? Right, sure. I mean, just the idea of like, because we find out like he's very strict uh on his nutrition, he makes them go for runs and stuff, they don't eat sugar. Well, he's on that Marvel contract. That's true. He's gotta get his kit off at least once a movie, so he's gotta like you gotta maintain. But when she brings him home this dessert that she made, and she's like, Well, we can't. We signed a contract with dad to not eat sugar. I'm like, that's fucking bananas. That's crazy. Well, it's more of a commitment. It's more of a commitment. You're absolutely correct. That has one of my favorite lines in that sequence, though, because they have a fight, it's the first of like the many conflicts that are coming. Yeah. And Cumberbash looks at her and goes, How about a three-hour circular argument that goes nowhere? And that is a very well-realized line for anyone who's been in America. Yes. It's really good. Yeah. Especially with these two characters who who realize that they're so stuck in their ways, right? Like it's a weird moment of like self-realization that we don't really get from them very often. They are very meta aware. They're they're sort of like in a scream film, they're like super aware of the genre film that they are in. Sure. God, what if Ghostface just showed up like two-thirds of the way into this movie? Maybe plus one star. Essentially, what happened? Better than Scream 7. Absolutely. I will say though, I think it's honestly so sad to hear. Like, if I had, if Priscilla ever told me, okay, we can have sex, but just make sure to get me off first so I can go to sleep. I'm like, I think I might put a gun in my mouth right then. I'm like, I think you and I uh look for very different things than our partners because that is a great line. No, no, it's a great line, but the way that it's said with kind of like an earnestness of like, is that not always the goal? Because it's always the goal for me, is to make sure she gets off first. Okay, Dustin. No, but I just mean like That's my goal. I don't think I succeed at it. I think that's my goal. But then go to sleep immediately is very funny, though. Oh, yeah, no, no, that's great. Can we get Priscilla in here and get her opinion on this? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I think my interpretation of that is she was fine with the active sexual congress continuing during her unconscious state. Oh, sure. She was just eager to get there. Sure. Which I think just go to sleep. I didn't even catch that. That's crazy. Yeah. I just think it would be so sad to hear that line, is all I'm saying. I get there, be it. They're doing their bitchy witty back and forth, but I'm just like, oh, that would suck to I would, again, I'd kill myself right there on the spot. Have Priscilla say it to you later and let's see how it goes. This podcast is gonna end with this episode. That's what I'll tell you. But then he keeps sort of this is the part of the movie where Theo becomes sort of self-aware and constantly is telling himself not to be mean to her, right? A little bit, yeah. And so we we spend like a 30-minute stretch where I'm like, I think the movie wants us to think both of them are toxic, but right here, I'm seeing 30 minutes of and it sucks because I'm we're we're a bunch of fellas talking about this. We're seeing 30 minutes of this guy doing his best, and she does not give a shit about him until he gets drunk on an airplane and then he's the worst look. I mean, he's still an asshole. Okay, but like he's holding the fort down and she's constantly like talking about how much cooler her life is than. Than his. Like, she might as well be telling him, You eat shit, you drink piss, you're a piece of garbage. I hate you. Yeah. Listen, all I'll say is I don't really take husbands that are stay-at-home dads and they want to complain about it seriously, especially with how great these kids are. Oh, sure. He's corrupting these kids and robbing them of their use. So whenever he's like, Oh, don't worry, I was up with the kids all night. No, you weren't. These kids are fucking great. What'd you have to do? Tell them to go back to bed. That's it. Wow, what a terrible life you're living. I don't feel bad for Theo. Especially if you have the means. Like he could hire a nanny if it's really that bad. Sure. Clearly, she's doing pretty well with this restaurant. I don't know. Almost at no point in this movie did I feel bad for Theo. Oh, I don't feel I don't necessarily feel bad for him, but I was completely blown away by how unaware she seems to be of what he's dealing with. But what is he dealing with? He's he's gotta be a stay-at-home dad. Right, but she's like on an airplane after she said she was gonna come home and she's like, Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you, I'm going to New York, we're doing this whole thing. Like, I think that's shitty. Okay, fine. I'll give you that one. I think what the film is trying to do is to create multiple avenues for you to find some villainry for Ivy. Sure. I'll accept that. For me, it's putting the clothes that are folded onto the ground. Oh my god. That was an act of absolute villainry. Thank you. You want to get on a plane with David Chang? I'm not gonna stop you on doing that. No, go for it. But to take folded laundry and put it on the floor, not even the coffee table, sin against nature. No, the single worst part is she brings Bob's donuts, and there's not a single fucking beignet in that box. Brother, I had a beignet from Bob's yesterday. You do not leave out the fucking beignet. They may have been distracted by her airplane calf tan, which I just I desperately want for my next flight. All I'm saying is like she had to be the stay-at-home mom that gave up her dream of being a chef for so many years. Got to watch him flourish and thrive and brag about his successes. Now the tables have turned, let her have this moment. Like, yeah, no, you're right. I don't know. I I know Priscilla's been a stay-at-home mom for 12 years almost. I'm like, if she got a career tomorrow that was taking her all these places, I'd be like, go flourish, do whatever you want. Do it. I guess my thing is they're not having conversations about it, though. Like a simple text of by the way, David Chang wants me to like go check out his new tasting menu. I'd be like, hell yeah, brother, go for it. Sure. But she doesn't afford him that okay. I I maybe that's where the miscommunication was coming from. It's just that she's not talking to her husband, not necessarily that she's doing the thing she's doing. Yeah. I don't think there's a miscommunication. I think you're a jerk. Damn. Is donut ice cream really that groundbreaking? Great. Good point. No, it's sugar. Who cares? I do love when they have the the party and Kate McKinnon's like, if you need a shoulder or an inner thigh to cry on, I'm here. It's great fucking love. She whispers, I want to fuck you. It's so funny. It's really good. It's a great button. Great button. Yeah. I think they sneak away, right? And then one of them says the other one, I hate everyone but us. I'm like, that is so fucking real. That is so fucking real. Ashley and I say that to each other all the time. Yeah, it's them against the world. Yeah. I do have one small question about Doctor Who's shirt in this one. Please, the doctor. Why are there two neck holes? Well, you never know when he might grow a smaller head. Okay. I gotta be honest with you. I didn't notice it. Like right here when it cuts to him. Look at his right shoulder. Oh, the other one is that's from when uh he and David Tennant shared a body in that one episode. Two heads. Was that the Christmas special? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I won't accept your slander. This looks hot. He looks so hot here. He's so good. He looks so good. He looks great. Oh no. He is glistening in every fucking scene. That mustache is perfect. Yep. So Theo and Ivy decide they're gonna take a vacation away from the kids to rekindle their marriage. What a fucking luxury. That must be hot damn. This vacation, it seems to be an overnight trip to New York. That's what it seems to be. In first class, both ways, yeah. Right. Must be nice. I know it's a comedy, but when his his friend, I can't remember the woman's name, but when she comes up to him on the plane and he's like, Oh, I think I think everybody's forgotten about the thing, and she goes, Oh no, no one has. I'm like, I would not be friends with this person no more. You're a monster, you're an asshole. Yeah, as someone who flew from New York to California two days ago and is doing the reverse tomorrow. Yeah, first class, these motherfuckers got money. Yeah, yeah. Like, my ass is in economy. Absolutely. I'm not checking a fucking bag. I ain't got that kind of money. I think maybe my second favorite line of the entire film is so he gets plastered drunk and she asks him, Jesus Theo, how drunk are you? And he says, Jesus yourself drunk, actually. That's a great line. Great line. Incredible line. It's the look from the flight attendant, though, that sells it because she's like, What the fuck was that? It's great. Also, I will call a little bullshit on this scene because as someone who's been drunk on an airplane, they cut you off. Oh, absolutely. They'll cut you off. Absolutely. Yeah. Also, you know you're at a low point if you're willing to watch hotel room golf instead of spending time with your wife. This is sad. This is real sad. This is so sad. Yeah, that's pretty sad. What are you trying to say about my current living situation? I'm saying you can watch anything else instead of golf at a hotel room. I'm not a fan. Dude, the cable at my hotel in New York is fucking wild. Twister is on every single night. Better than golf. Fuck yeah. Better than golf. That's perfect. Are you fucking complaining? It's fucking awesome. There's something magical about watching cable in a hotel, though, right? Like there is glorious. You're crawling back drunk from a bar crawl, and you're just like, oh, cops is on for the next seven hours. Sure. Why? Why cops? No. My wife and I are gonna be uh we're gonna be in London next week, and we're truly so excited. She looked at me the other night and she said, I wonder what's on the TV in the hotel in London. Oh, first of all, it's the telly. It's just Bobbies, it's cops, but just British. Get out of here. No, it's the Rossers. Last time I was in London, we got to the hotel, like, and we were like, all right, let's chill out for a minute. Turn the TV on, trimmers. Oh yeah. The lottery. Wow. It was magnificent. Trimers, as they call it over there. My wife and I were in a hotel over Christmas and we turned the TV on, and it was just a marathon of storage wars. Oh, okay. She did not know what that was. Sure. So we spent four hours. We didn't go visit my family. We watched storage wars in the hotel room. Wow. That's like when I went and took the kids to Disney World, but we got back to the hotel room speed was on. I was like, oh, this is the best part of my day now. Oh, fuck yeah. I'm missing out. Did they follow it up with uh speed two cruise control? They did not. That's a good point. They did not. So you didn't get to see the leeches on Willem Dafoe. Also, Ivy coming into this hotel room and puking in the bathtub when the toilet is right there really got me. Made me laugh really hard. Power move. That was hard to watch. Hard to watch, how to listen to. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Use a different receptacle. They're both so proud. I actually love the next few scenes where they're both trying to talk each other into having a conversation. And it's so hard to dig out of a fight when you live with your partner, right? Like that is like the that's the hardest thing, especially when you're like, we're married. This is the deal. We have to figure this out. Yeah. But also, what's the Kenny Powers thing where he's like, he's like, I can't stop yelling because that means I lost the fight. It's it's that sort of thing where it's so hard to like slow the snowball down when it's running downhill. Yeah. And I I think they both play that really well. I've also got to say that if your relationship is based on this kind of antagonism, when you fight, you no longer have that communication style to use. Right. Because antagonism that you use to express love, which confuses the other people in your life, when you're mad at each other and actually want to hurt each other, you're like, uh, I can't say this now. They've lost the ability to even relate on their level. Yeah. My wife and I had to have a conversation where we were like, we have to roast each other just slightly less. Because when we have to have a real conversation, then you know, that it there's that knee-jerk thing of like, well, I can't just mock you, right? Like, I can't just do that. That's not healthy. And you know, she can't help herself in this scene. Ivy, uh, like he walks to the bathroom and she goes, Yeah, seems mature, or whatever she says. Like she can't help herself. I do feel bad though, whenever she is trying to apologize, and then they're having, like you said, the antagonistic dialogue between another, and then she goes to the bathroom and cries. I'm like, I feel so bad for this woman. So bad. Sure. Both of them in the bathroom using whatever that little set build was, yes, front facing the camera, both scenes immaculate with each of them. Really well done. But then again, the the sort of like flowery dialogue rears its head when she tells him, quote, someone has to sacrifice themselves on the altar of the marriage. Boy. And I'm like, it seems I feel like some him, girl. I feel like logically it has to be him, but she's just saying it in a bonkers way. Yeah. Like you're not the villain in a Three Musketeers movie. Like, what are you doing? Why are you talking like this? Wow. Yeah, D'Artagnan would be a great ad for this. I completely agree with you. A lot more slapping in the face with gloves, though. That's right. That's just the favorite at that point in time. Absolutely. So Ivy tries to give Theo his spark back by saying, Hey, listen, I know you've always wanted to build a house for us. Here's a plot of land. Let's build that house. And I gotta say, this house, holy shit, this house fucking rolls. It rules. This house rolls. This house is awesome. Yeah. Irish moss, I gotta tell you, it does work. I need that Irish moss. It's good. $28,000. I think you could just pretend. Maybe. Maybe you can suffer from like Michaels and just spray paint it brighter green. There you go. I mean, it is so funny that he's like, I need I need this specific region of moss. I need this dinner table from the Spanish Inquisition. What the fuck? I love it. Love it. All of my cups are from the Holy Grail, like the temple from Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade. Ultimately, I think that the act of buying your husband a project is very patronizing. A little bit more. Yeah. And this is where I gotta give credit to Benedict Coverratch because he sells the like this could restart my like artistic expression so well that I never actually felt like he was being patronized. Yeah. And that is impressive because I think if I had read this script, I would have been like, God, Ivy, what the fuck? But Olivia Coleman also, to her credit, kind of plays it as cool, this will get him out of my hair for a little bit. Yeah. While I make salmon in a bird's nest or whatever the fuck that stuff was. When they're having that conversation though about the kids and they're arguing, and she says, Oh, I wish I was there. And he goes, You never are though, are you? I'm like, what the fuck is your problem? What the fuck is your problem? I like I love her response of shut your stupid, stupid mouth. Oh, ouch. It's like she can't even muster up the witticism at that point. She's just like, shut your stupid mouth. Yeah. It's great. But then she also eats a raspberry to test him. Like these people deserve each other. Oh, they sure do. They sure do. They are deeply unhealthy and need therapy. And isn't this when we go back to the frame story? I think you're right. Yes, yes. It's the next scene as I'm going back to therapy. Yeah. That framing is so strange because we we open with the therapist's office, right? Yeah. And then we hear the voiceover from the final scene in the movie. Yeah. And now we loop back to the therapy session. So it's a I don't know, it's it's very weird. I don't know that that's that it's necessary. Yeah. Temporal pincer movement. There you go. We just need Robert Patton to come in and be the third. Yeah. Oh, hang on. I wouldn't hate that. Wait, hold on. Hang on. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are we workshopping this? This is the skin of a third, Ivy. Uh make the checkout to uh cash. So yeah, Theo builds this house and Ivy decides to open a second restaurant, which that's pretty bold. And uh this is where we get the dinner scene with uh all their friends coming over for the house swarming. This shit, oh my god, I have never wanted to be involved in a scene so badly. Oh my god, I would love to just be sitting there, my cocktail in hand, listening to these two. Holy shit. Yeah. This resonated a lot with me though, because we have gone to dinner parties and even like my husband's boss's Christmas party, and we are like sniping at each other, which I think is very normal. Sure. And people would come up to him and be like, Are you in an abusive relationship? And he was like, No, we're just we're just queer. Like, we just have a different way of approaching this. Yeah. And it felt so in that moment of them being like, We can do it too, and them just being like, You can't just do it. You need to have a base on all of this. That is so funny. Oh god. My god, that shit is so fucking funny when that woman tries to snipe at her husband. Holy shit. God damn. It kills me because Ashley and I are the same way. We like make fun of each other, we we like, you know, we tease each other all the time. And it's so funny when we see people try to kind of like get in on it, and then I'm like, oh, I don't know you like that. Right, you can't do that. No, no. When I'm married to you, you can talk to me that way. When you're my wife, then we could have this conversation. When you're my wife. I know I keep saying no, this is my favorite line. Andy Sandberg saying very casually, I know what you're gonna say. This would be a cool place to suicide from. I think the line of the movie. It's so good. You're speaking about language, dude. This patio is a seven out of ten bleed out spot, I think. Yeah, personally. We got a good view of the ocean. Yeah, I agree with that. I agree with that. Love me a good bleed out spot. It's just a good spot for Ryan Gosling to just like sit down like with a gut wound. Yep. Yep. I also love to whenever like when Kate McKinnon's like, oh, you want to get me in a growing? She's like, You already got one. He's like, Well, I got two hands. I'm like, hell yeah, girl. Hell yeah, brother. She also again, I don't know what movie Kate McKinnon thinks she's in. And I assume Jay Roach was just frequently telling her, just uh just just go, I'll roll. I'll keep I'll keep filming. Yeah, just do whatever. Yeah. This bit where she's like blowing in her face to simulate a breeze. It's really funny, but it belongs in a different film. Agreed. Agreed. Because it's a little sexy, yes, and she does seem to be sort of hitting on uh Ivy. Yes. But it's also a little it's a little too much like McKinnon on an SNL skit. I I guess I don't have a better way of saying it. Like it's a little too funny to belong here. Absolutely. I I think it at least gives the movie a little bit of like life and energy. When her and Andy Sandberg are in the scene, I'm like, okay, it's not as dour as the you know, the scenes where it's just Olivia Coleman and Justin and it cumbered patch together. Right. I think you need that little bit of levity. Olivia Coleman smokes a joint and then is like so aggro for someone who's like supposed to be a little stone. Like she's she's destroying a cake, she's playing napalm deaths. Yeah, that rolls, that's amazing, though. That's all great. The napalm death drop fucking rules. It's pretty great. I do like that the film a couple scenes earlier was like, oh fuck, we have to get rid of these children. Yep. Could they at age 13 win a special athletic scholarship to leave the film because we're gonna be ramping up the violence and I just can't have a 13-year-old here. Right. Yep, yep. To the point where I was like, oh, another I thought another time jump had happened. Or it's like, oh, they're off to college now. No, I will say though, about the the Kate McKinnon and Andy Sandberg thing, I think I think you do need them to be at the level that they're at in terms of being in like a different movie because when it comes back around later on and Kate McKinnon is talking to Benedict Cumberbatch when they're having their big fight, and he goes, Would you really leave Andy Sandberg? And she goes, No, absolutely not. I'm like, I think you need I do love that. Yeah, you need that energy to like, even though they're like absolutely fucking crazy people that they are committed to one another. I think you definitely need that. Okay, but she says it while she's dressed like Big Ed from Twin Peaks, like she's got a fucking, she's got a fucking bolo tie and like this this giant blazer, and I'm just like, this woman is not married to Andy Skimper. But after Shittigatwa, it is Kate McKinnon's outfits that sell this entire character to me. Absolutely. If I could have both of their wardrobes, I'd be set for life. I've got winter, I've got spring, I've got everything. I do have to ask, what does Kipper mean? Because I have no idea. Oh, it's a sausage. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. That makes sense. Yeah. Not exciting. I went to like, I think it was like urban dictionary. I was like, what the fuck does this mean? Oh, what? Don't go there. Yeah, I've learned my lesson. You know, there's real dictionary. Fair point. Brother, you need the suburban dictionary. Oh man. This woman's line when she's trying to imitate the witticism back and forth, and she says, Hey, fuck stick bitch. Fill my glass the way you can't fill my pussy with your tidy dick. That's like, okay. That's so good. This girl's my new favorite character in the movie. Yeah, it's great. Is it Jamie Demetrio who says, I'm an empath and I'm having a hard time at this table? No, it's Kate McKinnon. Oh, is it? Okay, that took me out. It's a great line. Yeah, so good. It was a great line. It's because if you have been at the party with that person, right? Who's like, I'm an empath. I can feel everyone's feelings. Yeah. God. I went to therapy school for eight years. I feel feelings way more than you do. Get the fuck over it. Dude, you just know none of Kate McKinnon's lines were scripted, right? None of those were scripted. I've been in a theater class trust circle. I know, I know what empath is. I just know, like, as insufferable as the couple of Ivy Atheo are, so is the person saying I'm an empath. Oh, genuinely. Okay, that's just as equally as annoying. Well, and if the if the film had uh something that it was trying to tell the audience, like a strong thesis, which I might argue that it doesn't, right? I think the thesis might be like everyone's relationship is a little bit fucked up, but we make it work because we love each other. Right. Because Sandberg and McKinnon do love each other, they're not going to leave each other. Yeah. And that's what the roses ultimately come to. Except this movie says the roses deserve each other and they should fucking die for it. They should burn in hell for it. Spoilers. We have to do the second ending of Lord of the Rings for these people. I mean, what the fuck's going on here? So yeah, after an abysmal dinner party, the two have it out just in a screaming match, accusing one another of being incapable of apologizing or stealing the children from one another, and just being quote unquote, a bottomless pit of need. Draft the paperwork right now. That is some divorce words right there. It's a good hurtful language. Yes. It is the sort of thing you do say when you're mad at a spouse. Yeah, they know how to cut each other to the bone, absolutely. And I think Olivia Coleman delivers the best acting moment in the film when she's trying to apologize to him through the door. Like there's some real vulnerability here that she doesn't really get to show otherwise. Yeah, I love that scene too. Well, it's that heartbreaking dramatic irony that we as the audience can see that he can't hear her. Right. And she feels like she was heard. Yeah. And that, well, that's some that's some like Shakespeare bullshit. That's really good. Yeah. I gotta tell you, if I'm Theo and I wake up the next morning and I see these pancakes and creme brulee that my wife has made for me, fight's over. I'm sorry. All is forgiven, yeah. All is forgiven. Thank you. She's making an effort. Mm-hmm. How could you hate this woman after those pancakes were made, man? Oh, they looked great. Meanwhile, he runs off to go save a whale like an asshole. What was this? What a wild turn for this movie. I know. This is where I checked the runtime, and I was like, are we gonna get to the War of the Roses of this? When are they gonna kill each other? Yeah, it's like, oh, now we're just doing stuff. He's out on side quest. Is it a typo? Is the movie called Whale of the Roses? Like, what are we doing? So yeah, out on a morning run, Theo finds a beached whale and tries to help it get back out to sea. A very real whale. Very real. It's so real. Very tangible. Yeah, completely rendered. He returns home, but he pointedly doesn't tell Ivy about it, and she finds out from someone telling her. Yeah. And when she asks why he didn't tell her, he says, because I didn't want you to ruin it. Well, I know, I know, I know. But then he pontificates on the beautiful moment he experienced rescuing the animal, and then he says the most devastating line of the movie you only have one life, so why the fuck are you with Ivy? Yeah. Oh, that's a nuclear fucking bomb. Holy shit. No, that's it. You're done. You're done. Like that's the end of the marriage. No pancakes for you. No pancakes. Yeah, the whale kind of sucks, except when Cumberbatch comes back and he's standing in that doorway and she goes, How's your run? You can watch the acting decisions in his head to not tell her about the whale. And that was fucking art. It's really, really well done. So I can live with bad whale if I can get that moment. And it does ultimately work. I just kind of bad on my fucking tombstone. I was gonna say, I'll watch. Bad Whale. Who's directed Bad Whale? I wanted to see that. Wow, that's a that's a directed Netflix situation. Well, now that Brendan Fraser can fly at the end of the whale, now he's out for revenge. Yeah, there you go. And then, of course, the imminent sequel, Bad Whale's Christmas. Bad Whale's Christmas. Well, I was thinking Bad Whale Port of Call New Orleans, but I was like, This is a whole franchise, honestly. I'm into this. When she comes in and says, You saved a whale today, you see on Cumberbatch's face, like, oh great, now I have to tell her my realization. Like it's it's all really well done. Yeah. Like, if you love this woman, like you say you love this woman, if you had this marriage and kids, you might be a redneck, but also you gotta find a better way to say this to her instead of why the fuck am I with you? That that's the most direct, evil way you could say it. Yeah, I saved a whale and I realized I hate your fucking guts. That's basically what he says. Yep. And so the two of them decide they're gonna get divorced and it gets messy, man. Yeah. Why the fuck would you ever trust Andy Sandberg to be your return? Why? This feels like specifically grown in a lab to be like, which of the cast, by the way, we have a hundred of them, which of the cast would be the best one for Alice and Janny to just yell at? Yeah. And they're like, oh, Samberg, like, come on. Yeah. We call in the jackal to take her down, take him down. It turns into a marriage story real quick. Yeah, it does. God damn, and he puts those glasses on. He's a handsome dude. I was about to say, he's a lawyer now that he has glasses on. That's all it takes. Just put those glasses on. Well, I mean, anyone with glasses, lawyer. So, Nathan, I expect you'll be representing us in the uh pin to gloss suits. We'll definitely have coming up our way soon. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I'm ready. Alice and Janney says to them, the fact she ever lets you fuck her should be enough for her to claim every dollar. It's such a good cunty line. It's so good. Wild line. The whole scene is great, and it's Pride Month. I'm queer. I I'm not unhappy to see Alice and Janny. This whole thing could be excavated directly from the film. It absolutely could. It sure can, but plus one star to the movie's rating. I gotta tell you. Yeah, yeah. This saved a lot. I mean, you honestly, if you stopped the film after the Alice and Janney scene, this might be a five-star movie. Fade to credits, truly. This is this is great. Uh huh. Yeah, if the Alice and Janney scene happens and the camera, like the it just fades to black and you hear a gunshot. Cumberbatch just in the office, like, credits. It's so good. I do love Andy Sandberg pointing at this dog and saying, Bruno, sit and shut up. And then you get this lingering shot of the dog who like you can see the dog process it and go, okay, I will shut up. I will shut up. And then I like Andy Sandberg's reaction of like, oh my god, it worked. Sandberg trying to meet Janny on her level and calling calling Olivia Coleman a quote sociopathic whorehole. God. He's just like, oh, I'm sorry. I thought the lawyers were being mean. Is that what not we're not what we're doing? He goes, it's it's all part of the theater. It's so good. It's so funny. My heart broke a little bit just because I've watched the original War of the Roses so many times. Yeah. I just wanted Alice and Janny to do a little bit of foot play with Andy Shamros on the channel. Sure. Just a little bit. Just a touch. As a callback to DeVito and Turner. Absolutely. My heart broke a little bit. Oh, I guarantee they shot that for sure. Oh well, I I would really. JT, could you find that for us? Yeah, JT, look it up. Oh god. JT, Google Alice and Janny the Rose's feet. And then add Mr. Beast to the end of that, Minecraft. Hashtag release the footcut. Release the footcut, which I gotta say, I was really hoping after this scene we would cut to them in the house and then we'd be doing the old gag of pulling out the duct tape and being like, okay, you get that side of the house, I get this side of the house. Oh, the odd couple of it all. Absolutely. Yeah. I was really hoping for that. Which they kind of do it in the original one. They do. Instead, he's burning her cookbooks. Dude, burning the cookbooks is unforgivable. That's unforgivable. Oh my god. If someone burns my Tucci cookbook, I'm stabbing them in the face. Ashley and I bought each other the same cookbook for Christmas one year. Hell is so cute. Oh, the you gift on the Magi did you bought each other on the same cookbook? It was uh Vincent Price released a cookbook in the 70s and it was reissued a couple of years ago. Oh yeah. Cooking price-wise. So she gave me a Vincent Price cookbook and then proposed to me. So it was a good evening all around. Wow. You better be making her pancakes and creme brulee, Nathan. Yeah. Oh, you used to work at Hot Topic. Earlier I described Olivia Coleman and Benedict Cumberbatch as just a little bit gay for a straight couple, and now I feel like I need to extend that to you and your wife as well, Nathan. Oh yeah. No, you're right. It's not a little bit, my dear friend. It's not a secret. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just making sure that everyone's on if you had British accents, this film, you'd be like those euphoria kids. Is this fucking play about us? And so the kids call from their school in Miami and tell Theo and Abby that they are thrilled that they're getting divorced, which is so fucking funny. I'm so glad you're getting divorced. Second AD didn't show up to work this day because these kids got no direction. They sure didn't. Are we gonna talk about old boy's uh hairstyle there? Oh what are we doing? Oh yeah, with his little tiny little ponytail on top of his head? Yeah. What's going on there? I mean, what is that? I've seen Dustin play a metal show in a shed. That's definitely the that's the go-to updo. Get it the fuck out of my face, absolutely. That was literally his hairstyle at your wedding. It sure was. As we were seeing in espresso. I was I was discovering some things about myself that day. Yeah. Wow. So the two start the quote unquote war of the roses, this childish war against one another, including Ivy tossing in live crabs to Theo's bath, and Ivy burning the Irish moss on the roof of the house, and Theo locking Ivy in her bedroom as he plays polka music. And this should have been way longer, is all I'll say. Okay. But so here's the thing is she's playing pranks on him. He's committing crimes. Yes. Like she she throws a crab in his bath and he's like, I'm gonna lock you in a room. I'm gonna jigsaw you. I'm gonna poison a bunch of people at your restaurant. Dude, oh my god. Oh, when they cut to the shot of him grating his feet, I almost threw the fuck up. Ugh. Mm-hmm. He feeds her a raspberry. He's a supervillain. Yes, it sure is. She's like, you know, I'm like, I I glued your zipper shut or something. He's like, I have a gun. Like, that's the level of fight. How about I fucking kill you? Although the deep fake with the crack pipe is very good. Very funny. It's very good. Yeah. I was raising the stakes a little bit. I just love that. Yeah. But I've got to agree with Dustin. Uh, an hour and 26 minutes of edging to finally get to this film's promise, which is that they're gonna try to like kill each other. Yeah. And then they are sort of like cutesy pranky, or at least that's how it's shot. I guess I will I I'll sort of get a dig on direction on this one. Yes. Because this is shot like Animal House. Yeah. Not like War of the Rose. Well, and the and the score would have you believe that this is just kind of quirky, right? Yeah. We're having a good time around here. Listen, I don't know a lot about the Rose and the device, but I know if it takes you an hour, 20 minutes to get to the good part, then you probably should return it. That's all I'll see. So you're not a Bet Middler fan, as I want to understand. I can never admit to that. But yeah, so they're they're having this fight because Ivy wants the house and Ben and a Cumberpatch wants the house, and they're just fighting over it. Yeah. I like Kate McKinnon pitching a trip to Mexico as getting, quote, taco after taco after taco sounds like a great fucking deal. Oh, see, for me it was we drink tequila, we take peyote, and we rub and rub. She hits Theo with the eye of 30 or 40 years old. Yeah, that really got me too. God, so good. Yeah, I feel like like Mally said, I feel like the script just says, like, it gets to her character and it's just in parentheses, whatever Kate says. Like that's the that's that what the screenplay says. Yeah. 100%. Just do it, girl. Just go. Yeah. Dump him, girl. Dump him, girl. Dump him, girl. So one night during their quote unquote war, in an attempted amend, Theo offers Ivy cake laced with raspberries, which she is allergic to. Sure. And he only offers to give her the epitapen if she signs an agreement that gives up the house. And I love that she gets a one-up on him by signing it as Zendaya. Yeah, yeah. Zendaya out here catching strays. Sure. And this seemingly begins a fight to the death because she I love that she immediately goes against his gun. Yeah. And then I I mean I can't remember which one says it, but they say, Give me the house and you get the business. We both get something we love. And the other one says, I should be the something you love. Yeah. That's really good. That would break my fucking heart. Yeah. Emotional damn it. Wow. Wow. That took me back to Vine. That was wild. God damn. Well, ultimately, what it is is they end up realizing that they still love each other. And like that was sort of what we were driving towards this whole time. And you're kind of like, okay, well, we sort of rushed this part of the film by shoving it all into like these really weird scenes, but okay, we got there in the end. Yeah. He destroys the fuck out of her Julia Childs oven. He destroys the oven. There's also, it was really disappointing to me that we have these giant bay windows and we don't break any of them. Like it's truly very disappointing. I do like the small callback to the original with the falling chandelier. I agree. That's good. That's good. Yeah. So, Mally, this is your pick. Do you want to tell us what happens here at the end of the roses? So, yeah, we do have to mention, because I guess it's kind of the catalyst for the final moments. He does destroy the Julia Child oven. Yes. Which then causes a final destination ass gas leak. We follow the gas leaking through the house, which is so fucking weird. Because you know how ovens are just full of gas even if you don't turn them on. Exactly. Yeah, that's how it works. Yeah. So they have like this whole kind of realization where they're like, oh, we do actually love each other, I guess. Even though she's still holding the gun throughout the whole fucking conversation, which is the best bit. I do love that. She's sitting there smiling. You gotta be safe. Yeah. Well, and I I thought that was the setup. I thought that was the setup for the ending. Truly and honestly, I was so disappointed that it's start a fire. Like I was waiting for her to drop the gun and it like goes off. Exactly. Something like that. Yeah. They went out of their way for Andy Sandberg to turn to the camera and be like, it's got a hairpin trigger. Yeah. Like, okay, that'll be important information later. Tony McNamara said, Chekhov's a pussy. Watch this shit. Even when like he gets on top of it over there making out, she's still holding the fucking gun. Yes. I don't blame her. Keep it on you, girl. And then he's like, Hal, play our song and light a fire. And then we hear like the three clicks of the fire starting. Yeah. And then just smash cut to white like we're in fucking Mission Impossible Fallout. And fucking roll credits, baby. Roll credits. Yeah. Roll credits over a spectacular cover of Happy Together by Susanna Hoffs and Rufus Wainway. I do think this is a little bit of a softer ending than I had hoped for this. I want to see this house go the fuck up. Like in uh hot fuzz when like the how the gas fire happens in that house. I want that kind of an ending to this. Yeah, you wanted a hard ending. Yeah. I mean, that's kind of what's so good about the ending of the original, is just even in their like dying moments, they can't have a tender moment. Yeah, because in the original, she like pushes his hand away as they're dying. Yeah, it's so good. It's great. Oh, it's so good. Alright. Well, that is the roses. Did any of you have any uh final notes before we get into the wrap-up segments? We mentioned Hal. It's so weird that Benedict Cumberbatch builds like a proprietary AI smart house system for this house and names it after the system from 2001. Yeah. I also read that Jay Roach considered asking um Kathleen Turner to voice Hal and thought it was a bridge too far. Yeah. Well, you're wrong. You are wrong. He should have gotten Danny DeVito. Oh, Danny DeVito, even better. DeVito would have been great too. Even better. Honestly, Michael Douglas. I would have taken anyone from the original cast to be in this. Even Michael Douglas. Yeah. I can't do that, Theo. I'm too busy dry fucking gene triple horn. Theo, can I offer you an egg in this trying time? Yes. Alright. Well, let's get over to Prop Cop then. So if you're new to the show. What does that sound? I'm sorry, did we JT just grunt us? So if you're new to the show, Prop Cop is where we're all going to pick one prop JT just came that we want to own for ourselves in real life. And I gotta say, I'm gonna take the entire house off the table. You guys can't have the whole house. That's too much. That's too much. Whatever. Criminole. Well, it blew up. Well, we don't see it blow up. Can I have just the balcony? Because I was thinking about suiciding later. You know what? You know what? Sure. Sure. I'll let you do that. God damn. Took Nathan's whole bit. So, Mallie, this is your pick. You get first dibs. What prop do you want the most from the roses? Uh, loophole, their first house. Okay. Lovely house. All right. What the fuck was wrong with that one, right? That was a nice house. This isn't your dream house? Get over yourself. Right. Exposed brick in the kitchen, bitch. Are you kidding me? Yeah. Also, that backyard, pristine. Pretty good. Pretty good. Uh, David, you're our guest. What prop do you want the most? You know, I thought Alice and Jenny had um a really nice attache or portfolio. And I thought I could, I could, I could live with that. Plus, she touched it, which would increase its value to me, at least significantly. Sure. And uh, it would remind me of the best part of the movie, which is when that she showed up. Sure, sure. Nathan, what do you want? At one point, Olivia Coleman is wearing these pajamas that is covered in leopards. Uh-huh. Not leopard print. It is covered in leopards. And I want them so badly. They look so comfy. How is Nathan still the gayest person on this episode? And look, I'm not normally like a long pajamas girly, but like I they they look nice. Yeah. Oh, I run hot at night. I can't, I can't do the long pajamas. No. Absolutely not. Me neither. JT, what prop do you want the most? I'm gonna go with the table knife. Oh, the Spanish Inquisition dagger. Of course. Nice. Nice. Wait, just the knife or the table with the knife? Oh, the table knife. Can you fit that table in your in your house, JT? If it was attached, it would say it would be one prop. But because it's removable, it's two props. That's true. Yeah. Very humble of you. Yeah. Blood of the heretics are all over that. That's awesome. I'm gonna take uh Ivy's chocolate and blackberry meringue pie ice cream sandwiches that these kids don't get to eat. I'll fucking eat them. Those sounded so good. Uh huh. All right, fat ass. You didn't sign that contract. You don't need to obey it. I sure did. I sure did. Uh it was a commitment. It was a commitment. That's exactly right. All right. Well, let's get into bit part. And I gotta tell you, this cue uh is relevant to uh this episode in particular. So go ahead. Oh boy. Fuck, I should have lied! No! Oh my god. I knew Nathan would like that. I should have lied instead of saying I wasn't gonna. So there's lots of small characters in this movie, background extras, what have you. It would be fun for us to be cast in those roles instead. So who should we play in the movie The Roses? Let's start with you, Nathan. Who do you want to be? During the inexplicable whale rescue sequence, there is this long-haired trucker-looking guy in a baseball cap that helps push it out to sea and he just kind of does like a yeah, like an arm wave. Yeah. Yeah, I want to be that guy. Uh, I want to be the Rob Zombie stunt double who tries to use the bed bath and beyond coup pod at the restaurant. Excellent. Yeah. Excellent. Nice choice. Mally, who do you want to be? In the scene where they first meet, there's a line cook behind them that's just trying to do their fucking job. Sure is. He's doing his best. And is just having to listen to like the weirdest flirting of all time. It is so funny that there's like an episode of the bear happening behind the meat cube. I did say whenever they get like all the people coming in from the storm, I was like, oh, this is like the bear light. Yeah, like the fucking receipts coming off and everything. It's so funny. The cub, if you will. The cub, there you go. The silence when we made that joke. I know I got it. I liked it. I liked it. Okay. Uh, David, who would you like to play in the movie? Yeah, I think you know, I've already shared that I think that the two hottest actors in this are Sinidomani and then Shitti Gawa. And so I would I I think I would choose the unnamed waiter who's getting to do Jane in the back. Oh, sure, sure. Or we never see them, but I wouldn't mind being a truck driver who got to spend 10 minutes with Shitty Gawa. I think that would be really fun. Sure, sure. I've most certainly picked characters that are not physically seen on screen before. Absolutely. Yeah. One of those two. Shudie has like five minutes of screen time, but makes sure you know he fucks. Oh, yeah. Which I just love about oh yeah. Both of them. Jane runs the world and fucks. Yes. And Shuddy is just like, I make money and fuck. I love it. Uh-huh. Uh JT, who do you want to be in the movie? I will be one of the patrons that are on shrooms in great time. Yeah. Hell yeah. That was a fun scene. I may have just eaten whatever he was scraping off of his toe, but I won't know it because I'm high as shit. Yeah. That's true. You don't know that. The less I know, the better, as uh Tamin Paula once said. Uh all right. So let's say this, fellas. The the end of the movie, presumably, I think we can all agree that this house goes the fuck up, and these two are dead at the end of the movie. Okay. Let's find a silver lining to 2025's The Roses. Wow. What the fuck just happened? Incredible. That wasn't me. Giving you a soundboard. I don't know. I go back and forth on if it's good or bad. Oh man. Oh boy. Alright, so I'll go ahead and start, and I'll say my silver lining is that no one got the house, which is probably for the best. There you go. Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah. Uh David, what's your silver lining to the movie? My silver lining was I spent some time thinking about uh Hattie and Roy, and I think they were already pretty dispassionate about their parents' divorce, so I think they would handle their death pretty well. That's true. They're probably fine. And I like to believe Alice and Jenny got them an excellent settlement from the estate of Julia Child for designing some stove that leaks gas. Yes. And they can now turn all of these crab shacks into GNCs or whatever and live high on the hog. Oh, yeah. My first bit of business taking over the estate is let's close these fucking restaurants. Let's get rid of them. Jesus Christ. Yes. That's great. Uh Mallie, what's your silver lining? Mine also relates to the children. Sure. So, I mean, you know, the children, they're physically fit, they're powerful, and now their rich parents are dead. Right? Uh-huh. So that really opens up the possibility of them becoming Batman. Co-Batman? Yeah. That rolls. Batman, if you will. They're physically fit. They're rich. They're orphans. The trifecta. Something's happening. You know, a West Coast Batman, not a bad idea. Yeah. West Coast Batman. They can take on Bad Whale. They can take on Bad Whale. You're absolutely right. Batman be Bad Whale. Oh man. Oh, that's a straight to DVD movie. I don't know if I'd bother picking up at Walmart. They can be Crab Man and Whale Woman. Okay. Directed by Robert Rodriguez. I'm into that. Okay. Not my best. Not my best, guys. Fuck. Okay. Sorry. Let's get the asylum on the phone. Uh Nathan, what's your silver lining? Piggybacking off of David's. I think Alice and Janney at least got paid for that first uh mediation session. Yeah, she did. Yeah. That retainer is sitting pretty. And also in real life, Alice and Janney got paid for five minutes of screen time. Hell yeah. Oh yeah. She got that sag daily. She sure did. She didn't even work for a full day. You know she didn't. That was like two hours tops. No, if that oh my god, that was an eight-hour minimum day. I want to believe that that was a reshoot. That that had to be they were like, you know what? This movie, it's not we don't have enough punch here. Can we get Janny in for a day? Uh-huh. Like, you know what? This movie needs to be cuntier. And boy did it. There's not enough shoulder pads in this movie. Can we up that? Well, how is that different from what I said, Nathan? No, I agree with you. Who's available from the West Wing? JT, what's your silver? Uh I was thinking maybe uh Jane and Jeffrey can still run the We Got Crabs franchise and they can still fucking get money. That's true. So long as they don't have more than 50 employees where they then need an HR department because somebody's gonna have something to say about all the walking fucking going on. Well, there'll be two freezers. One for the food. Sure. One for food. Yes, exactly. One for food, one for quitus. All right. Well, let's say they both have lemons in them. Oh god. All right, let's say this. Let's say you watch The End of the Roses, you heard our silver linings, and you're like, fellas, I still need more. I need something to watch after I watch the roses, something as a double feature to balance things out. What is a great movie to pair with the roses as a pick-me-up? I'll start first with a movie that I've definitely recommended before. I'll start as a pick-me-up. And I'm gonna go with another movie that has more deadly shenanigans going on between its two leads. And I'm gonna go with another cunty movie, Death Becomes Her. Yeah, great choice. Great choice. By the way, the Broadway musical is incredible. So fucking throw that out there. It's so good. Okay. So good. David, what movie would you pair well with The Roses? I mean, I think the easy answer is War of the Roses. Go back to the original source on this one because it's an excellent film. Yeah. If I could pitch a TV show here, there's a standalone episode of the series Mythic Quest from the first season called Dark Quiet Death. It's possibly most beautiful television episodes ever made. Okay. And it is about a couple with this same level of antagonism that are played by, you know, um Jake Johnson and Christina Miliati. Oh wow. I think it actually scratches the same itch that the that the Olivia Coleman Benedict Cumberbatch was giving you here. Okay. Um, and it does it in this nice little self-contained story. You don't need to know anything else. You can just watch Dark Quiet Death. All right. God damn it. That episode is so fucking good. So fucking good. I've never watched Mythic Quest, and I think you just sold me on it. At least that episode. At least that episode. The first season plus the COVID episode, really solid. Okay, cool. And then it goes massively downhill. I almost picked Palm Springs as my pick-me-up movie. More Sandberg. I'm glad we had some synergy there. Yeah. Great movie. Love that one. Nathan, what's gonna be your pick-me-up? I actually went with another Andy Sandberg divorce comedy, Celeste and Jesse Forever. Nice. A movie that I think is spectacular. Alright. Underrated. Yeah. The best use of Rashida Jones in a film, I think. Wow. Okay. JT, what are you gonna watch? Because I can finally say it, hot rod. Yeah, there you go. I could finally use it. Great. Love it. We're just having a Sandberg marathon. Uh, did we get yours, Malik? Yeah, do I get to go? What the fuck, DC? Just ask what's yours. Oh. Um shit out of your ears. God. No. No. Just because I'm going to see it in a cemetery in like three hours? Mulan Rouge. Fuck yeah. Where are you doing the screening at? Is it like the Hollywood? Hollywood Forever. Nice. That's fucking awesome. Yeah. No, it's a different cemetery. He's just gonna project it on the back of some gravestone. I don't know. I don't know where he is. He is. He's a he's a transcontinental boy. That's true. I flew back to LA this weekend to go to this screening. Fantastic. That's beautiful. One of my greatest regrets is missing the Hollywood Forever Cemetery screening of Showgirl. Showgirls again in Elizabeth Berkeley. I'm sad I missed it. I said I would have flown both of you out. I know. No, I know. I love you. David, you may not be in the know of this, but Nathan and I had a Showgirls podcast that ran 16 episodes. Wow. Too long. Too long. Too long. I was about to say, I threatened to do a minute by minute podcast on Conclave. Oh my god, hell yeah. That's Tucci Watch is gonna be one of the segments that was Stanley Tucci in this minute of Conclave. I I'm so available. Oh my god. Please tell me you were gonna call it Conclave. Pretty good. Conclave, another another film that is best watched on an airplane because rate movies force yourself to listen to heavy breathing. And there's just so much Ray finds heavy breathing. I usually do. All right. Well, last but not least, do we recommend the roses? Wow, wow, what a pregnant pause. I guess I do. Why? I don't care. I like it. I like it. It's a good bit. It's good. No, it's good. I just want to know why. Why, Nathan? You want to know why? Because I'm gonna come. You know what? The roses is good to watch exactly one time. Okay. I don't hate that I watch this movie. I've really enjoyed talking about it with y'all. I don't think I'll ever put the roses on again. No. Okay. Like if you're sitting down for dinner and need to throw something on real quick, why not? Yeah. You know what? This probably is a decent plain movie. Yeah. Good cable in the hotel movie. This would be great to find on Cable in the Hotel. Absolutely. Yeah, if you're at the hotel and Twister for some reason isn't on. If the cops channel is down. Yeah. It's a good movie. It's just I wanted something more in terms of the actual war between them. It's just not enough. Yeah. The good part is, though, is that Olivia Coleman and Benedict Cumberbatch are just so good at being so bad together. Yeah. I do like it for that. You know, that's what it is. I would watch 60 or 70 reels of this on TikTok. Uh huh. I don't think I'd watch the film again. I don't think the whole is better than the sum of its parts. Yeah. I would absolutely watch a montage of this movie set to end of beginning or whatever the TikTok sound of the month is. I would definitely scroll into part 17 of 56 on this series and be like, I gotta go find part one. Sure. I've never heard it described like that. That is so fucking good. I love it. And then go to the comments where people are like, is that Sherlock? Is that Doctor Strange? What is this? What's the name of the boom movie? Yep. And so I'm gonna go in game, and there'll be like 3,000 upvotes on it. Yeah. That's exactly how it would work out. Ja ja ja ja ja. It's a little fight. Wow. Maybe I shouldn't get on the internet. Coming out my culture here with the ja. Ouch. Well, that is the roses from 2025. Thank you so much for listening. If you haven't already, please subscribe, rate, and leave feedback wherever you're listening to us right now. You can also follow us on social media in the usual places except for the ones that are hosted by Nazis. You can also check out our website at Tslppodcast.com. If you've got a bit part suggestion, you know, that few we played right before our bit part uh segment, if you've got a suggestion for what we could use, you can email us at the silverlinings playlist at gmail.com and tell us what we should use, or use the contact us form on our website. If you haven't already, you can also join our free Discord where we're there, our fans are there, and we're just having some good conversations and a good time hanging out. And lastly, check out our Patreon if you want more of the show, where you can get a membership for as little as a dollar a month and a bunch of benefits. Patreon.com slash silverlinings playlist, where on the Patreon this week, Nathan, we have our first episode of the Vaguiety Hour where we did our Desert Guilen Music Exchange. What? Awesome. The sweatier the title, the happier I am. Uh huh. What the fuck? Incredible. You'll get to hear which three albums Nathan and I would bring to a desert island. I gotta tell you, we've already recorded the episode. There's some surprises. You may be surprised at what we would bring. You may be surprised at how long the episode is. You're really gonna be surprised. I did not think it was gonna be that long. Says the two guys who did a 16-episode series on Showgirl. True! And that should tell you something. Talked more about Robocop than anyone ever should, also. Oh God, yeah, we did. We're so done with Robocop. David. Jesus Christ. Thank you so much for coming on. This was an absolute delight. Yeah, thank you so much for having me. Happy Pride. Happy Pride to all your listeners. I really appreciated the chance to be here. Thank you. Gay it up some more. Oh please plug your show for everyone. Yeah, so I mentioned earlier that I'm the co-host of a podcast called Fear Coded. I'm also the co-host on three other podcasts, but yeah. They're mostly about television and other things. So if you want to check out anything that I do, all of it's on glitterjaw.com. Uh it's all queer people talking about media in various forms. Awesome. And then for me personally, if this wasn't enough and you were like, more, um, you can find me online almost anywhere as Dmuma. That's D M-U-M-A. Okay. And we'll put a link to your podcast and the glitterjaw in general in the show notes so people can quickly get there. But uh yeah, thank you so much for coming on. Yeah, thank you so much. Yeah, those are great. Open door invitation anytime you want to come on. 1000%. Yeah, I'll come back. This will be fun. Sometimes we'll we'll cold reach out to guests to come on the show, and sometimes it works out, and sometimes we're like, I don't know, but no, you you revived immediately with our energy. So absolutely open door policy. Oh, I'm so happy to hear that. Well, it's always great to know that a bunch of guys like me. That's what I really go for in my life. Uh all right, last bit of business here. We gotta give a clue for what our next episode is gonna be. Nathan, it's your pick, so why don't you give us a clue for what we're gonna be talking about in two weeks? Well, in the next movie, my mother told me never to do this. Dot dot dot. Oh yeah. Oh, that's okay, that's it. Okay, got it. I gotta tell you, maybe some uh some gay vibes in next episode, too. I was about to say, we we shouldn't, we should, we want to stick around. All Jules. Happy birthday to dads and grads and gays. That's what we do. I'll do all three this weekend. Fantastic. So that's it for this episode. Tune in next time. We're talking about uh some things our mom told us never to do. And until then, rest in peace, oatmeal. And as always, this episode did something to my cunt. Were you not gonna say cunt? Oh, dinner's ready. Are you still dating that bad guy? Are you still dating that big bad guy?